Don't Blow Up Spots

What I want to talk about is offensive to others, and I don't want to censor myself or blow up the spot of my brothers or undercover lovers, I think everyone has their secrets, the question is can u keep it, are u trustworthy and loyal, do u easily crack or more hard boiled, I don't however want to be an enabler, unlike How To Get Away With Murder I won't be ur gravedigger, we all have hard tough choices to make, perhaps ull see things clearer after some time and space, I'm not perfect but I won't settle, instead of just talking about ur dreams and fantasies put the peddle to the metal, shut up and drive, with the top down u feel so alive, as free as the wind and air, doesn't matter that I don't have long flowing hair, or that I'm short, yes i'm a good sport, but I too would like a boo/cohort, to walk thru life with, unconditional companionship is a gift, trying not to spill the T but rather take a sip, tough not to burn bridges or my lips, that's what happens playing with hot fire, don't turn into one of those hidden agenda manipulative liars, some sins are unforgiveable impossible to heal and mend, maybe let's just be best buds and friends til the end!

 

Peace and 1,

JC

12/9/15

Don't Forget To Use Lube

Can't find that guy I'm compatible with both in and out of the bedroom, how many good friendship relationships has sex ruined, I give up on the idea of fairytale monogamous love, course u want ur dick sucked without the strings attached to cuddle and hug, that's called having the best of both worlds, lately I get hit on more by girls, easier to find a married man with kids willing to cheat on his wife, than to meet a decent single masc gay guy to date and share my life, which aint fair or right, every day is another fight, I really wanna lay down give up and die, lost the motivation for music and to even put my heart out there to try, rather crawl in bed with my body pillow and cry, all I can think of is what's wrong with me or why, perhaps it's me who's got it wrong, maybe I'll be known more for poetry than my hip hop songs, tho I know my soul is strong, I gain confidence smoking a blunt or bowl or ripping the bong, how do I become numb, existence is dumb, want to figure out the point but there doesn't seem to be one, the evil people have all the fun, I feel too bad, while they simply laugh at the fact I get so emotional and sad, til I boil over mad, that I fell for ur illusion, ur icky tricky delusion confusion, like my grampy used to say "ur cruising for a bruising", now im all sore raw contused and abused from u using me without lubing, it's not just the memory that hurts, but what makes it abundantly worse, u get to go home to ur boo dude, while I have nothing and no one to turn to!

 

Peace and 1,

JC

12/9/15

Can U Stand Still & Grow

I've been so focused on everybody else, I'm totally neglecting myself, what's so humiliating about asking for help, all people dream of extreme wealth, but enough is never enough and we want more and more and more, we're a bunch of greedy selfish whores, dirty filthy gluttonous pigs who take and take and take yet rarely give, so many robotic zombified stifled stepford souls that don't truly live, have u ever met someone tho who made ur heart jump or skip, crazy enough to do the dare and skinny dip, let me see u dance and sway those hips, I'll be there to catch him when he falls or slips, put up with his bipolaresque hissy fits, hate to see him grumpy miserable unfulfilled or sick puking with the shits, sorry for getting all disgusting vulgar and gross, but there's and ugly side to life no one talks about but everyone knows, that's just the way it is and how it goes, whichever way the wind blows, I'll follow my passionate driven gut and with a lil luck I may find a place I can book hip hop shows, happiness happens so sluggishly slow, karma can be so cold it scolds, what if I never fit the mold, can a man stand sit or stay still yet still grow?!

Peace and 1,

JC

12/8/15

No Personal Gain

No gun regulations rules or laws, with wars galore, capitalism's all about more, what are u so against an independent third party for, I mean isn't it good to have competition, wish ya'll would wake up pay attention and listen, really read the lyrical words, they're harshly conscious but never intended to be judgemental spread hate or hurt, I'm prone to oversharing giving and putting 210% into my work, killing people just makes problems worse, wish everybody would get their hands out of my pockets or murse, u know a male purse, jk I'm such a sarcastic nerd, but that's really what I've heard they call it, personally I've always preferred a wallet, made of leather or a fave of mine duct tape, i need to be way more patient and wait, accept the fact I can only inspire change, be careful not to break the cardinal rule of using magical powers or gifts...no personal gain!

Peace and 1,
JC
12/6/15

Bunch Of Fricken Hypocrites

It's nice to finally have what I want and what I need, it actually reinvigorates my faith and my belief, that everything and everyone u meet is for a reason, it always changes like the seasons, except in SoCal where the weather's wild and freaky, life is not a game or a race to be won and some will excel progress faster than and even beat me, so much more of a journey gotta learn to enjoy the ride, don't just rely on getting high, perhaps that bad habit is a crutch, but u know when ur without any I totally come up clutch, when I start to get overwhelmed with anxiety, I try to calm my mind down by simply trying to breathe deep, grab hold of my feelings and emotions, there's definitely magical powers being close to the ocean, I do recognize how I'm very lucky and blessed, sorry for being so poetry and music career driven and obsessed, not out to battle bout or be the best, willing to take whatever obstacles and tests, god karma or the universe throws my way, won't focus my energy anymore on gaining support from my community known as "the gays", since u repeatedly reject my services and love, I will not play politics suck dick or be a notch on ur belt of guys uve fucked, I've had enough of ur shallow superficial shit, get over urselves we all need help and are just a bunch of fricken hypocrites!

Peace and 1,
JC
12/2/15

Give Myself Permission

I know what I want until someone starts asking me, I'm afraid to share cuz when I do ya'll call me crazy harassingly, my dreams seem impossible to achieve, why won't u just have faith and believe, do u think I don't know how hard it is, I'm sorry if ur unfulfilled and unhappy with ur personal affairs and business, but I am not ur failed plans, guess I gotta pull up my boot straps and be a man, quit bitching and complaining, about how my life is so awful soulsucking and draining, think maybe tho when u stop crying and whining, it's because over half ur heart's been slowly eroding and dying, every time I don't get picked, it get's harder and harder to find the will to live, what's the point to life, if it's only to work pay bills and somehow manage to survive all the strife, then there's the atrocity that lingers and bothers me, it's just not the right time for me obviously, but my patience has run thin, when will I learn to let go so the real healing can begin, gotta give myself more credit and permission, it's overwhelmingly stressful and depressing secretly hoping and wishing, nice guys don't have to automatically fall prey or victim, staying single isn't a sin!

Peace and 1,
JC
11/30/15

Tied The Knot...NOT

If sharing is caring I think it's time to stop, cuz I seriously need to rebuild a stronger core foundation and learn how to guard my heart, if u thought the kitchen was hot, try being on stage directly under the spotlight, yes getting to rap superstar status is improbable but not impossible if ur willing to sacrifice stay driven and fight, I have enough passion and creativity to raise the whole globe, to an existential level where peace and love leads and takes hold, eradicates prejudice injustice and war, people refrain from marrying young to find the reason and true purpose they're here for, we all have our own skill sets of strengths weaknesses and talents, wish men had some old school swagger class and style rocking the masculine chivalry and valiance, can anybody tell me what the hell happened, why won't u listen to the words I'm saying and asking, I've been spoon feeding u pieces of me for years, all my dreams wishes fetishes feelings and fears, but now it's just too late, I've given up on that fate, I'm sorry I simply don't have that type of patience to wait, u know I'm always open and willing to play, but I gotta go find my guy who's unattached uninhibited and actually available, perhaps we will still have phone sex watch porn together and send raunchy horny text messages or email, love is like the holy grail, be careful which cup, u choose to take a sip of, cuz once u give it up u don't automatically get it back, emotional intimacy and reciprocity most men lack, those are feminine traits, maybe that indicates makes or insinuates gays, who knows I mean never say never, I haven't thought about tying that type of knot ever, don't necessarily believe in monogamy forever, I have hope there's more than just one someone that can help make me and my life better, I think that's a lot of pressure putting all ur eggs in one basket, we come in and out of this world alone it takes 2 incomes to own a home but only 1 body fits in a casket!

Peace and 1,
JC
12/1/15