I've been slacking hardcore on writing new stuff, that apartment scam really punched me in the gut, I feel like I did back when I was 25, barely holding my head above water let alone thrive, it's time for a major change, starting over yet again seems strange even deranged, it gets harder as we get older, so much more responsibilities weighing on my shoulders, my postures all fucked up, and for sure my luck just sucks, can't catch a break, I'm having trouble surrendering to fate, cuz I am no good at accepting robotic routine, what about my rap superstar dream, should I throw in the towel, do I need to be down on my knees to beg and grovel, is God listening, or sadistically grimacing, as I plan he laughs, negative reinforcement messes with my ability to act, it's reaction that comes easy, does success equate sleazy and greedy, I agree that billionaires fundamentally shouldn't exist, it ruins the work ethic of ur grandkids' kids, no one person deserves all that money, the internet's got us behaving funny, socially incompatible, Earth is becoming uninhabitable, our government's ineffective, our President wasn't even really elected, at least not by the popular vote, does anyone care all the poetry and hip hop lyrics I wrote, or have I gotten lost in a sea of noise, been receiving lots of compliments about my voice, but still haven't made a profit, commercial consumerism defies all reason and logic, people are simply fickle, love seems to be an unsolvable riddle, especially as a gay man, inherently they can't, lacking vulnerability and empathy, this patriarchy is legendary, I say let women take the lead, Hilary and Pete both planted a seed, however that glass ceiling's still in tact, if we're not careful we'll lose all sense of truth and fact, proclaiming fake news, is a tyrannical ruse, that gave rise to Hitler, I'd rather be a nomadic drifter, than a comfortable sustainable zombie, I must be an anomaly, cuz I don't believe in retirement, humans have an obligation to protect the environment, what happened to fighting for the betterment of the greater good, most minorities are misunderstood, thanks to ignorance, homophobes are often hypocrites, are we even capable of evolving, is life really cyclically revolving, no matter what, there's purpose beyond busting a nut, or making babies, are there endless possibilities and maybes, I'm only asking cuz I don't know the answer, perhaps we are actually a cancer, and naivety might be a saving grace, once we're gone is there any trace, what is the legacy u want to leave, a lack of fulfillment is my biggest pet peeve, I see so many going thru the motions, never crossing borders or oceans, stagnant yet standing still, ud be amazed at the power u can wield and will, esp together united as a group, right now tho it seems the world's become a massive poopshoot!
Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious
3/4/20
