Can't Dispute The Truth I Love U

Tired of all the bickering, and the constant nit picking, take me as I am, but if u can't, tell me now, I'll figure out a way how, to move on without u, gotta do what we've got to, not only to survive, won't settle until I thrive, believe me like Joss sings I'll be "bruised but not broken", once one has been awoken, especially to the notion of love, u can never get enough, it makes life worth living, relationships take hard work compromising sacrifice and forgiving, open and honest communication, unfortunately there ain't no immunization, to failed expectations and disappointment, creating false hope is annoying, perpetuates and frustrates ur temper til it's boiling, ur blood pressure is thru the roof, there's no premeditated maliciousness or intent and that's the truth, I can't justify or dispute, sometimes when I'm doing music my brain/consciousness goes aloof, doesn't mean I don't care or think about u, I'm a naive goof and an ignorant fool, so far from perfect, but I think ur worth it, all the trials tribulations hurdles and obstacles, I'm passionately stubborn and can sometimes be unstoppable/impossible, especially once I make my mind up, there is no kind of, either u do or don't, perhaps u can u just won't, I need a man who rises to the occasion, determined bullish and brazen, yet still modest and humble, laughs at the fact we all stumble fumble and tumble, it's a matter of time, do ya'll think everyone gets at least 15 minutes to shine, when do I get mine, I lie and say I'm fine, but in reality, I don't want to be just another casualty, I wanna leave an epic legacy, empowering people to be the best we can be, by simply being ourselves, success isn't about wealth, why are men so afraid to ask for help, I'm not lesser than for being gay or admitting I've had problems with mental health, so what I've had 2 psychotic breaks, I'll do anything and everything it takes, to make me myself and I stronger and never better, I've been thru and handled much worse weather and tethers, call me Houdini Jr, stop feeding into gossiping assumption and rumors, and don't put words in my mouth, I refuse to raise my voice to scream yell and shout loud, we need to talk TO each other not AT, u really need to know and have faith that I'll hold ur hand and got ur back, thru the thick and thin, I won't judge u based on ur past sins, but I expect the same reciprocity in return, u could never be a bridge burned, cuz for u I'll come to the table, travel to the edge of the Earth and beyond if I'm capable and able, move mountains and swim seas, I'm being sincere when I say ur the love of not only my life but fantasies and dreams, forever ever and always Kevin, even in the afterlife if I have to I'll find u in heaven!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/29/17

A Blessed Mess Still Standing & Breathing

Ur only as old as u feel, at 35 things start to get really real, it's my half life, don't wanna have to ask twice, let alone repeat shit, failure isn't defeated, like a phoenix rise, there's a fine line between attaining knowledge and being street wise, I wonder what wrenches the universe will throw in, karma's worse than the energizer bunny that keeps on keeping on and going, reminding evil people there are consequences to every action, never give up on ur hopes wishes dreams or passions, aspire to inspire, helping others to reach higher, becoming our best selves, love is way more important than acquiring great wealth, focus on staying healthy, I'm like the wicked witch of the west we're his scented sweat melts me, must be all those pheromones, he's got such a manly aggressive dominant tone, that drives me crazy insanely wild, super addicted to preferring spicy over mild, what's first and foremost important/critical/crucial, is to be just urself extra special and uniquely unusual, fuck flaws and petty differences, search deep down inside stop getting caught up with superficial images, it shouldn't matter if ur black white short tall fat or skinny, if ur butt boobs feet hands vag or penis are mini, it's the size of ur heart actually, souls are growing cold unempathetically nasty unnaturally, from fear repression shame and regret, once we fuck up this God given Earth there won't be any humanity left, because we need and feed each other, hence her nickname is mother, and breaking the bonds that hold the circle of life together, perpetuates pollution and extreme destructive cataclysmic weather, without an o-zone all is lost, ur ridiculously rich famous and successful but at what cost, sick of the FDA and EPA not doing their jobs neglecting protecting, this past election with Russia meddling was genuinely upsetting/unsettling, haven't quite recovered, Trump 2020 has got me stuttered and shuttered, must've randomly contracted Turrets, how quickly the sheeple forgets, as the tyrant leads us off the cliff, we let him split the masses in fact it's causing a huge rift, it's an old school text book trick called divide and conquer, across the whole globe the United States Of America's becoming disgustingly disgraced and dishonored, we're nothing without our stellar reputation, enforcing immigration laws thru deputation, makes us collectively seem discriminatory and prejudiced, I didn't care for the host or show "The Apprentice, he is the antithesis of business savvy, him and his mail ordered bride filed multiple bankruptcies to live lavishly, it's all a false facade/charade/optical illusion, by creating mass hysteria panic and confusion, he's simply distracting with the same ole shit smoke and mirrored politics, isn't it clearer now maybe even blatantly obvious, he has no clue what the hell he's doing, can't listen to or take the hate he's continuously recklessly spewing, they say laughter is the best medicine, but believing in and understanding the deplorable's logic hurts my head again, there ain't no rhyme or reason, how he hasn't yet been impeached for treason, defies rationale common sense and meaning, but I guess I'll digress before I get upset remembering I'm blessed to awake and face the taste/test of another day I jest I'm a mess yet still standing and breathing!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/28/17

The Crazy Absolutely Amazes Me

Trying to live healthier, how does one become wealthier, seems kind of funny, it takes money to make money, another catch 22, while dichotomy and hypocrisy ensue, why does life seem so tragic, do u believe in magic, how about karma God or fate/destiny, anxiety and fear have been getting the best of me, no amount of drugs counselling or therapy helps, and there's no one to blame but ourselves, the selfish ego gains control, completely taking over our soul, so we're trapped in our own bubble, unaware of the global financial trouble, short sighted and unsocialistic, imagine going holistic or exploring the mystics, herbal remedies are much more bodily friendly, capitalistic consumerism has taken a toll both environmentally and mentally, we worship the almighty dollar, more than worthy talented experienced scholars, modern day celebrities aren't good role models icons or idols, superficial materialism's destroyed what's valued and vital, we're so fucking screwed up, marriage isn't supposed to be about business but unconditional love, enough with it only being allowed, for a man and a woman to exchange vows, we don't need no church, ur ignorant discrimination really hurts, why shouldn't we adopt kids, especially if we provide a better place for them to grow and live, shut ur face with ur judgmental opinions, ur mean sarcasm isn't justified by simply saying just kidding, a lot of truth is said in jest, drunkenness is synonymous with depressed, maybe at one time u were adorable, but now ur another deplorable, so hateful ungrateful and naive, totally consumed by power and greed, it's weird there's a majority of working poor, I hate and can't take oxymorons anymore, not all gays are promiscuous whores, just like spike-haired meatheads aren't all from Jersey Shore, surfer dudes aren't only from Cali actually, evolution is supposed to happen naturally, perhaps my poems are too existential, success isn't guaranteed but death is blatantly inevitable, until then tho, enjoy the shit show, as this once great nation unravels, our government officials should be scared of the ultimate gavel, cuz they masqueraded as by and for we the people, unfortunately their true intentions promote pure evil, got duped again by wolves in sheep clothing, anyone who unabashedly claims they're all knowing, are clearly plain psycho delusional and crazy, how any rational human being can deny climate change absolutely amazes me, guess we're cursed to never learn, trust love and respect can't be bought only earned!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/27/17

Alleviate The Wait & Existentially Elevate

I finally caught up on work, but I bet there's a few invoices that linger and lurk, somewhere around here, unemployment brings profound fear, jobs are truly scarce these days, not everyone wants to please or appease gays, ever felt tolerated yet not accepted, losing the popular vote by 3 million yet Trump was still collegiately elected, I don't think that should count, without his tax returns we'll never know the specific amount, of how much money he has or conflicts of interest, haven't used Snapchat Twitter or Pinterest, cuz I'm not very technologically savvy, more of a pacifist than scrappy, but I won't run away from a fight, rather use vocabulary words that bite instead of being trite, phrases that are both rhetorical and metaphorical, historical but also absorbable, even mother nature's bipolar with day and night darkness and light, that's the dichotomy of life, with the ying and the yang, when some sing they lose their accent/twang, it's actually pretty funny, like a rumbly grumbly hungry tummy, growling out loud, hate when the sky's shrouded by clouds, means a storm is coming, can do without guitar stings strumming, a capella style, always try to smile, it helps make people feel good, why is it only the real hood, who make it in hip hop and rap, the tick tock of the clock smacks back, reminding me there's no reverse, short bursts of time spurts hurts, those looking for more than 15 minutes of fame, prefer a long lasting career in the music game, over a lame one hit wonder, which is considered a blunder thunder plunderer, taking away my notoriety and publicity, the promoter producer or manager hired was wicked shitty, cuz I'm old school valiant passionate with lots of talent, since I'm a Gemini tho it's hard to find balance, teetering between extremes, need extra squeegees please, to sop up these celebratory tears, winning a Grammy perhaps will take years, but there ain't no stopping, til I'm radio chart topping, I'm destined for greatness, measuring awakeness, after spreading my album called "Truth Love & Consciousness", enough with this horrifying obnoxiousness, I want to create works of art that are positively inspiring, altering perception and hard wiring combating the bitching and whining, may seem impossible, but in all actuality it's really only improbable, if we have the courage to alleviate the wait, and finally existentially elevate!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/26/17

Too Much To Ask/So Unreasonable

This is the second poem I wrote today, I'm not sharing the other one that's consumed with anger frustration and hate, sometimes I just need to vent, never learned the skill of being disingenuous or playing pretend, so I have to keep some shit to myself, holding onto negativity is detrimental to my health, I'll hide it in my diary, there's nothing more special and fulfilling then when someone compliments they admire me, to me music and poetry are second nature, I wish I could be the world's savior, cuz we are stuck in very dark times, I wanna be the bright white light that shines, leading and showing lost souls the way, it's ok to be gay, it's not a mental disorder or disease, be careful not to people please, cuz ull lose urself, we all need a lil help, stop acting so proud, this isn't a dick swinging contest so it doesn't matter if ur well endowed, just be a good person, if ur situation isn't working, u shouldn't complain, perhaps it's time to change, either ur circumstance or location, what's with this never ending generational discrimination, we perpetually pass it on, eventually masses bond, and unity creates power, together we will make the tyrants pay and cower, aren't u tired of being taken advantage of and conned, there's no such thing as Jesus Santa or magical wands, get used to it, enough with the abusive shit, fucking with the truth, karma will catch up to u, webs of lies, definitely demise, cuz the good triumphs and love conquers all, the law of gravity states what rises falls, life is a combination of a see-saw and a merry-go-round, am I alone thinking existentially profound, too smart with a big heart, meaning I'm double doomed from the start, I am not a punching bag, nor some door mat, u can walk all over, like Edwin McCain "I'll be ur crying shoulder", until u cross my boundary line, Trump is a sign of the time, evil has taken a strong hold, imagine being Benjamin Button born old, aging in reverse, fate is a curse, hating hurts, modern day slavery's work, only the one percent have the luxury of being free, why don't they see their greed, damages the collective, wish cops and Congress actually protected, we the people, we're looked upon as worthless and feeble, I know utopia and peace on Earth isn't feasible, but why can't we use common sense share resources and get along...is that too much to ask/so unreasonable?

Peace and 1,
JC
6/23/17

Open Our Mind's Eye's Consciousness

Still wearing my rainbow Pulse/Pride bracelet, together any obstacle we can face and ace it, just gotta keep the faith, which doesn't necessarily mean pray, u are the strongest man I know, look how far uve come and grown, uve got much more of a troubled past, but I have hope that this relationship will last, because of all that we've been thru, it's not as important what u did as what u do, take each problem as they arise, don't get caught up in gossip assumption and lies, especially the ones we tell ourselves, try to find healthy ways of reducing stress helps, hence why I run do yoga and write, I don't like how lately we fight, but it clearly shows, we both will go toe to toe, coming back to the table, when there's a foundation of love we're much more willing and able, to sacrifice and compromise, remember life is a seesaw with lots of lows and highs, ride the ebbs and flows, nobody knows what the future holds, so stop worrying about and predicting the what ifs, soul mates are the ultimate gift, seize the moment, u don't own shit, everything's on loan, what's the point to bitch and moan, there's only so much within our own control, leave the rest up to God Jesus or the holy ghost, do u ever wonder about divine intervention, perhaps this is all a dream an illusion or inception, be gracious and grateful of blessings, don't get too caught up in exterior superficial masks and dressings, discover the truth, which is often aloof, by digging deep, focus on what u reap, take responsibility and hold urself accountable, nothing is impossible or insurmountable, if u put ur heart into it u can accomplish anything, not many can inherently rap and sing, like having the natural ability to dance, got guts or the balls to take an against the grain activist stance, it takes courage perpetual passion action and drive, we all have a meaning or reason why we're alive, pay attention to friction, watch out for overindulgence obsession and addiction, it's easy to lose our way, it shouldn't matter if ur straight bi trans or gay, love and marriage are inalienable rights, incessant prejudice and discrimination bites, can't we existentially evolve, work towards solutions that solve, poverty hunger AIDs Alzheimer's cancer war homelessness and global warming, ya'll need to open ur mind's eye's consciousness to realize signs and warnings, there's only one life and one world, we're all the metaphorical diamond in the rough/quintessential pearl, extremely special and unique, now is not the time to run and hide give up cower or retreat, firmly stand our ground, the results could be life changing altering and profound!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/21/17

Find Strength In Love

If I call ya'll out, it's not cuz I wanna bout, I know u can do better, life ain't all about the cheddar, it's about finding ur true love and soul mate, growing old's fate, and time is not on our side, so enjoy the ride, in it's ups and downs twists and turns, getting ghosted burns, sometimes tho u gotta move on, out of sight out of mind doesn't mean uve been conned, like seasons people change, best friends become estranged, but ull always have those moments, when u fuck up say I'm sorry and make atonement, as they say forgive but don't forget, no use getting frustrated and upset, especially when things are beyond our control, instead of reap what u sow we receive that which we dole, it's a different way of saying the same thing, why u keep bitching about it raining, use an umbrella or go singing, stop hyper-analyzing and overthinking, it'll give u stress lines and wrinkles, u trying to break the record of Rip Van Winkle, like Nas raps "sleep is the cousin of death", u should feel grateful and blessed to get up out of bed, be happy it's a new day and u can take another breath, imagine hearing God sing "to the left...to the left", humans aren't like Beyonce's song "Irreplaceable", I often wonder if peace or utopia is even feasible or capable, or if it's an ignorant naive notion, I'd climb any mountain and cross oceans, to be with my man, love was just a fairy tall tale mythical illusion before he helped me understand, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, watch out for those cat phishers and trollers, they'll private message naked pics and flirt, please don't feed into gossiping assumption and presumptuous dirt, get to know others for urself, jumping in to a relationship for wealth, makes u a bad person/gold digger, playing the victim is a big pet peeve/trigger, basically that means, ur simply blaming me, I take responsibility for my actions, I often get caught up in passion, and I lose my mind, that's why I refrain from judgment and write rhymes, to review and organize my thoughts, cuz I worry about being overly dramatic or too irrationally distraught, avoid manipulation guilt tripping and pity, confront conflict face facts fears and the shitty nitty-gritty, it'll help u to learn and grow, experiencing tragedy makes u appreciate triumph that's how dichotomy goes, when stricken with adversity, don't sit there crying begging for mercy, the universe won't feel sorrow, karma's a wicked witch and'll take away tomorrow, shouldn't get caught up in the past stay in the here and now, I wish I knew just how proud, my accomplishments actually make u, it's impossibly hard for a gay white middle class rapper to break thru, but I won't ever give up, I have never ending hope and faith only because I find the strength in love!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/20/17  

Everything's Profoundly Backwards & Upside Down

We just celebrated Pride weekend, but when will capitalistic consumerist culture break or bend, cuz it is absolutely deplorable/disgusting, the lack of value substance and service for ur cover is troubling, trying to exploit the lgbtq community, shouldn't we get immunity, or some sort of benefit, instead u reward our nemesis, fuck big business, this economy is ridiculous, rewarding greed, promoting materialistic envy, money doesn't buy happiness, most drag queens misunderstand the difference between bitchiness and sassiness, plus they're a dime a dozen, representing a curmudgeon, I'm disappointed in what we've become, so ignorant unempathetic dumb and numb, guess we sold our souls, equality is supposed to be the ultimate goal, yet we're more separated and divided, have forgotten why Stonewall even rioted, not so we could parade around naked all intoxicated, but to try and alleviate unnecessary discrimination and hatred, who says marriage is only between a woman and a man, love is love what the fuck is so hard to understand, it's impossible not to believe we're damned and doomed, look at all technology has ruined, especially human interaction and connection, sorry but I still can't get over he who shall not be named's election, it's like we regressed back to the dark ages, aren't ya'll sick of the homophobic misogynistic religious extremists and racists, what the heck is wrong with people, when did we succumb to evil, I'll always fight for light, practice what I preach and teach wrong from right, it's literally common sense, no wonder why we're all on edge and tense, there's no more trust, too many prefer casual lust, seems we lost the will to work, karma's on strike so nobody gets what they deserve, everything's backwards and upside down, change is necessary and it needs to be swift and profound, perhaps I'm losing myself in the bigger picture, wish there was some sort of magical potion spell or elixir, to fix this shit, every breath is a gift, and gives us an opportunity to make things better, maybe I am a naive stubborn passionate idealistic hopeful romantic go getter, but I won't stop, til the virtuous righteous good rise again to the top, so they reign and it eventually trickles, it's ok to be fallible and fickle, we all make mistakes and have preferences, use other's and past experience as references, be in competition with no one but urself, and just remember it's not weak to ask for or get help!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/19/17

Why Does Success Seem To Mean Loveless

My man is way sexier than me, look at his pics if u don't agree, he's got striking features, and I'm one of those talented cute creatures, guess it's all a matter of taste, some think we're rushing into things with haste, but we only live once, and I'd rather not be a dunce, when it comes to love it's not a competition, follow ur heart gut and intuition, otherwise u become numb consumed with regret, ya'll better not be placing relationship bets, I hate evil people rooting for failure, I use my experiences and hurdles like Taylor, put it all into my poetry and music, don't sweep up shit under the rug use it, be smart and learn from ur mistakes, nothing is free easy or cake, at least not the really good stuff, still getting used to the scruff, but my boyfriend likes it, as well as bites shit, like my face lips and butt, I'm working on diminishing this gut, not for any purpose other than being healthy, with u by my side I can be broke yet still wealthy, cuz at the end of the day, I want substance not quick dick or some fantasy kinky lay, he is the one I dream of, taught me what Mary J meant by "Real Love", yes it's true only time will tell, but I'd imagine without him my existence would be hell, break down those walls and out of ur shell, take big risks instead of believing in superstitious imaginary wishing wells, God doesn't hand magical answers, do ya'll think there's a meaning or reason for aids and cancer, while we may be growing older, we're both getting hotter not colder, like fine wine, haven't peaked or reached our potential shine, I have faith the best is yet to come, ain't no one and done, milk me repeatedly until I'm shooting blanks, all these vampires need to retract their fangs, stop draining the life force sucking blood, have hot sex instead of jerking off to filthy smut, ya'll sluts should back the fuck up, control ur addiction of lust, cuz my guy is married, I feel bad for Mariah Carey, to have so much success, but perpetually loveless, I really think most men are threatened, paparazzi Nazis keep invading and meddling, leave the poor woman alone, worry about u and ur own home, if u are booing and poo pooing her for trying, don't act all surprised when, karma comes back to u bitch, how long have u been hitched, like Pac said "only God can judge me now", I never understand or can comprehend how, humans won't open their eyes to see, they're the very definition/epitome of hypocrisy, we reap what we sow, and wanna remind ya'll the one thing I truly know is we don't know what the future holds, but the power to change and be better is in our control, I hope the legacy I leave is filled with empathy consciousness and soul!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/16/17

Resist & Persist For Good Shit To Flourish

There's a tough dichotomy between being open and honest, yet remaining humble and modest, straight forward and direct, but don't fall victim to the mean sarcasm or selfish ego effect, what's better white lies or the blunt truth, be careful what u choose, cuz neither can be taken back, screw omission gossiping assumption and alternative facts, I've had enough of the gay drama and bullshit, u need to learn when someone extends their finger and says pull it, not to gullibly follow thru, or when asked who sings a song say it's u, otherwise u fall for their trap/trick, what's better a dick that's long or thick, prefer cut or uncut, not attracted to politically correct generic dumb fucks, cuz I'm all about chemistry and connection, I'm trying to live my life happy and fulfilled not swayed by negativity's infection, which isn't easy, definitely don't want to be identified as manipulative or sleazy, I accept the consequences for my mistakes, and for the rest of my existence will do whatever it takes, to win back trust, prove to u it's not just sex and lust, I am truly madly deeply in love, and I simply won't walk away or give up, I'm a passionate fighter and stubborn, want to minimize drinking drugging barring and clubbing, to spend more quality intimate fun time just u and me, pretty sure ud agree, we both have plenty of personal stuff to work on, but know this is not some deceptive illusion or con, I wanna be a positive example, and refuse to let random outsiders come between us trying to ruin and trample, the hard work traveling this long lonely windy road, I use my past experiences as lessons to learn how to adapt and grow, please remember tho I am far from perfect, trials and tribulations suck but in the end I find they're worth it, usually atrocity helps provoke real change, this position I'm in is completely off-putting and strange, believe me I'm scared as hell, my insecurities and confusion can seem impossible to show iterate express or tell, worried u won't be there when or if I fell, there's no magical solution potion nor spell, gotta navigate the twists turns valleys and hills, resist and persist even if it kills, it's all about the journey the fight whether u phoenixly resurrect and rise, why do men see vulnerability as weakness and abhor tears being cried in another guy's eyes, it takes such courage and strength, divulging secrets pent up anger frustration and resentment is therapeutic to vent, holding onto that crap, hiding behind an awkward uncomfortable dismissive laugh, is not a good way to deal, only when u can admit how u feel, getting to the heart and root of the pleasure or pain, can knowledge and wisdom be gained, communication's laying the bricks of our relationship's foundation, too much corruption and greed is what's destroying this once sound nation, with a tyrant at the helm, many are disgustingly disgruntled detached and overwhelmed, hopefully this'll lead to some sort of new Renaissance era, where inspiring good music art morals ethics and talent flourish are appreciated prioritized coveted worth more and valued greater/better!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/14/17

Change The Collective's Perspective

Some mornings it's a fight to figure out what to write, should I go deep angry inspirational or just keep it light, I have no control on the soul, guess I'm like the weather both hot and cold, after all I am a Gemini, off stage I'm pretty reserved and shy, not afraid to cry, or ask why, instead of accepting that's the way it is, how come there's no heart or humanity in business, it's simply about the money, but what I find funny, is that it's the root of all evil, brings out the worst in and consumes people, like without it we have no value, now-a-days we work cuz we have to, life is very expensive, the list of debts and bills is quite extensive, seems to be an insurmountable hole, which takes an overwhelming toll, that makes it hard to get up out of bed, do the rich realize they can't take it when they're dead, each day is a struggle, any dents or progress are super subtle, almost nonexistent, when it comes to my music tho I'm persistent, I don't care about the obstacles or paying the price, getting a song played on the radio would be nice, but winning a Grammy would be even better, instead of sending one to Santa I'll pen Pac a letter, telling him how much I love and admire, think tho he was a thug his spirit still rose higher, up to the heavens, u showed me hip hop is service for benevolents, who sacrifice their own life, by sharing their stories and experiences of pain hardship and strife, remember nobody is perfect, helping others is totally worth it, cuz it helps ourselves, I'm not in it for fame or wealth, I sincerely want to connect and relate, there's no such thing as a successful mainstream middle class white rapper who's gay, think it's about fucking time, may not be a freestyler but got sick poetic stream of consciousness rhymes, definitely one of a kind, got lots of hot topics on the mind, I wanna change the collective's perspective, sorry but I don't understand why Bernie wasn't elected, I swear he was our modern day savior, FDR used socialism to make this country greater, capitalism just isn't the answer, sometimes I truly believe human beings are cancer, we always fuck shit up, the only way to heal this world is with the power of love!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/7/17

Let Go The Inconsequential

Rubbernecking is negatively effecting traffic, I get road rage but wish I could just laugh at it, learn to let it go, dismiss the shit as inconsequential, cuz holding on to that level of anger and hate, doesn't stop u from being late, simply exacerbates ur blood pressure rising, people don't appreciate empathy nor compromising, both of which are an art form, love keeps the heart warm, but sometimes it ain't enough, relationships can be tough, especially if ur not getting what u need, selfishness is a big pet peeve, u gotta believe things work out the way they're supposed to, I'm not promiscuously slutty the way gay hoes do, kind of a prude dude, misconstrued as rude, cuz of resting bitch face, finding a soul mate isn't a race, it'll happen when it does, some have multiple loves, while others simply miss out, but if u repetitively pessimistically pout, ull turn off many, if anything I'm overly friendly, and when I'm being nice or polite, ya'll assume I wanna make out blow u or go home with u that night, which couldn't be further from the truth, my boyfriend is a beaut to boot, so I'm not looking for more, nor interested in hookering whores, he's "all the man I need" like Whitney sang, it's never a quick fuck/bang, sex for us takes hours, ur not less than a man for crying liking pink purple Mariah Carey or flowers, usually homophobes are discrete undercover cowards, first to put their asses up and/or wear collars, if they're muscle juice heads or dominant in life, it's ironic they like being humiliated degraded and in bed play the wife, meaning they're submissive or the receiver, I actually feel bad for Michael Jackson and Justin Beiber, they totally missed out on just being kids, read my lips, money isn't the be all and end all, remember the law of gravity what rises must fall, even success comes with a price, normally their love life bites, it's impossible to know who u can really trust, fame and fortune induce lust, it takes passion and guts to fulfill hopes and dreams, nothing is ever as easy as it seems, even being born into wealth, can be detrimental to ur mental and heart health, the specific struggles may vary, but we all have similar instances and feelings of pain envy and happy, one person's trash is another's treasure, failures shouldn't be measured, what's important is how high u bounce back and rise, don't listen to gossip hearsay or lies, get to know and understand first hand, I wonder if God laughs or chuckles when we plan, not a fan of Fantasyland, prefer pools over the beach cuz there's no sand, getting everywhere including the nooks and crannies, terribly miss my grammies and grampies, they used to spoil me to death, with them gone I feel like I'm walking a tight rope without a safety net, but I have faith they've become angels watching over my shoulder, will my legacy be passed down too when it's all said and done and over?

Peace and 1,
JC
6/6/17

Innocence Or Ignorance

Our bickering isn't hateful sickening snickering, in the beginning instead of a baptism like Charmed we'll do a wiccaning, we show love a different way, sarcasm's the gay's quintessential spilling of the T/shade, it's not meant to be nay say, stop reminiscing and vicariously living like ur still in ur hey day, grow the fuck up, oh u don't appreciate when I cuss, well tough luck, notice the scruff, I'm an adult, homosexuality is not a cult, perhaps it could be considered a religion, it's also not a choice or a decision, the amount of negligent ignorance, can no longer pass as unintentional innocence, we need to draw some hard lines, why do they try to dim how bright a star shines, by spreading deadening and upsetting meddling, look at all the evil that's embedding getting and settling, deep within our collective soul, if we don't start accepting climate change is real and man made Earth will become a giant black hole, both the North and South pole, keep losing their cold, ice caps are melting, what's the deal with people bible belting, hating and discriminating in the name of Jesus, the US can't just do what appeases or pleases us, what happened to fighting for the greater good, Republicans aren't doing what they know they should, and it is simply upsetting, how quickly we're forgetting, wondering how we got to this point, I'm beyond irritated and annoyed, I'm wicked pissed off, while ya'll bitterly snicker and scoff, acting selfish arrogant and righteous, seems we can't even fathom let alone fight this, sick and twisted mentality, where sheeple get brave behind virtual reality, so socialism and human interaction becomes numb too awkward or weird, government divides and conquers thru abusing using fear, yet we fall for it every time, excessive greed should be a crime, there's no reason one person family or corporation needs billions of dollars, I feel as tho scholar's degrees are collars, making us slaves to capital and our careers, nobody wants to be a teacher they wanna be JT or Britney Spears, how the heck are u supposed to know, what u want to be or do for the rest of ur life at 17 or 18 years old, we idolize shows like 16 and pregnant or Teen Mom, how do ya'll remain calm, cuz I'm about to lose my cool/shit, I despise his lies and don't like the fact Trump rules one bit, he's making a mockery of our democracy, it's impossible to handle the day to day shockery, there's always something, with the orange pumpkin, I swear he's colluding with the Russians and Putin, terrorism and war are disintegrating and ruining, the whole globe's at odds, please tell me if u think Utopian peace is naive wishful thinking or a complete farce?!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/5/17

  

No Pussies Allowed

Tonight is gonna be incredible, the nice thing about typing instead of writing my lyrics is they're always legible, maybe tho not understood, don't wanna be too book smart nor hood, I'm Italian gangster not ghetto, I'm def thick but not squishy like jello, but I do in fact taste great, think I finally met the man of my dreams/soulmate, fuck all ur jealousy and hate, too impatient to wait and will do whatever it takes, to follow thru on my promise of forever, I won't wanna live unless it's together, cuz we can weather any storm, we define our own relationship rules and norms, it is absolutely true, I unconditionally love u, will u be my one and only, console and comfort me whenever I'm lost insecure or lonely, like Meth and Mary J say "ur all I need to get by", ur the drug Toni Braxton sang about that's "making me high", unless I'm down on the ground on all fours, while our Alessia Cara soundtrack's playing "baby I'm urs", it smells of locker room stink cum and poppers galore, ur stuck with me hubby for richer or poorer, I wanna have pups lil piggies and a bunch of gaybies, ur sexual prowess is extremely lustful like ur rabid with rabies, ur animalistic, threatening to bite my face off cuz ur cannibalistic, even without bath salts, what's with all the mad cat calls, from both men and women, isn't it obvious why I'm ear to ear grinning, we were up the entire night, til the birds were chirping from the morning's first light, shouldn't kiss and tell rather be respectful and polite, being with u just feels right, will u "stay with me" Sam Smith style for the rest of my life, sorry not sorry neither of us is the wife, so take ur ignorant presumptuousness, and stick it up another slut's butt that's not half as juicy or scrumptious, we like to tag team tease, please...ain't no freebies, u gotta work for the honor and privilege, my gorgeous alpha dom stud would be crazy livid, look but don't touch, no pussies allowed we love it rough, a lil exotic and kinky, no rinky dinky or wrinkly, just scruffy young jocks, who worship cock, and if u can't handle this, keep ur tongue off my tit's nips and pits, since it stimulates heavenly bliss, what a shame u missed out on the opportunity to kiss these lips, now ur too late, get irate with fate, destiny has other plans, u can try to divide but ya'll don't really stand a chance, but for a chosen few spectators/fans, u may catch a glance voyeuring while we dirty dance, after all everyone can be enticed and has a price, care to push ur luck and roll the dice, u might get trussed up tight without speech or sight, nobody said life was fair or that we play nice!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/2/17

Defeating Comparing & Competing

I've been on a roller coaster ride, my emotions erratically going from lows to extreme highs, it was my 35th birthday last week, and I'm wondering if I've peaked, too soon or perhaps late, I often wonder if we have a predestined fate or if destiny is a blank slate, in which we have semi control, maybe only God knows, if it even exists, I'd rather use wits and psychological tricks than fists, fighting doesn't seem to solve issues, please stop making me use tissues, I'm tired of crying, from all the back stabbing gossiping and lying, u never get anything in life unless u express it, why second guess shit, follow a combination of logic and gut, can't find love in bars or clubs so I tried Scruff, and it totally worked, just when I got close to happiness so came jealous jerks and that hurt, cuz many claimed to be my friend, I definitely don't like the idea of long time relationships coming to an end, especially over hear say and third party rumors, I'm a hip hop rapper emcee never claimed to be one of those superstar crooners, altho I have a deep raspy old school style voice, who and what u love and are passionate about isn't really a choice, why must I pay the price, for other people's shortcomings regrets and unfulfilled dreams in their own life, I am what I am cuz I work hard and very driven, I'm gracious and giving even on days that aren't Christmas Easter Valentines Day or Thanksgiving, I am simply a genuinely good person, who actively seeks to see the best in people instead of all the evil that's lurking, cuz otherwise I'd never get up out of bed, smoking too much pot got me trapped overthinking in my head, still trying to take each day one moment at a time, having a big heart and lots of empathy shouldn't be a crime, don't say ur fine if ur not, put ur heart and soul in everything and give it all u got, cuz time and life are precious unpredictable not promised commodities, I love Kevin even with his faults flaws and oddities, we can't pick and choose, but u can follow all the rules and still lose, unfortunately nothing seems to be fair or just, gay men in particular are sluts for sex and lust, and it's destroying our reputation and perception, please don't let me be effected by all the bad shit so I become numb untrusting and afraid to show or let in affection, stop underestimating the importance of human interaction and touch, there's absolutely nothing more amazingly beautiful and healing like big bear hugs, fuck fucking or dick sucking I think the most intimate is kissing, I'd rather not start missing truly living cuz I'm too caught up comparing competing hoping and wishing!

Peace and 1,
JC
6/1/17

Concussions Headbutting Nothing

Perfection is similar to the horizon, can never be achieved but we should keep trying and striving, as u approach the line recedes, it ain't really victory when one cheats, anything worth having takes a great deal of hard work, growth occurs more when stemmed from failure pain loss atrocity and hurt, easy is for the sleazy, believe me sweety, being greedy and too needy, everyone will leave me, high and dry, and while ur oblivious wondering why, nice guys finish last, very rarely do u get things u want unless u ask, fuck the past and masks, we've had a lot of laughs, and that's all I could've hoped for, feel like a piece of meat/groped whore, when out at the gay bars or clubs, they all come out of the woodwork when u finally find love, nothing hinders not even with a ring on ur finger, people become thorns and splinters, using attack tactics of divide and conquer, where's human decency respect chivalry valor and honor, it's almost as if we have no values or morals, political differences means no acting cordial, never ending head butting, cuz concussions are nothing, so what if ur beating a dead horse, better than brick walls of course, but yet it seems masochisticness, like ignorance is assumed bliss, until ur not in the know, being out of the loop blows, life is a roller coaster that's just how it goes, upside down twists and turns with highs and lows, hence why it's best, to speak ur mind rather than living with regrets, yes truth is often said in jest, but now ur emotions are a hot mess, Janet wasn't wrong when she sings in her song, "don't know what ya got til it's gone", why is it that u have to lose to gain, knowledge and wisdom ain't the same, it's a plain shame, to only focus on the negativity of rain, it can be beautifully nourishing and replenishing, tears too are healing and cleansing, occasionally we all need a detox, how often do u clean jeans or socks, do u wear deodorant or cologne a lot, publicly burp or fart, followed by an excuse me please, my pits reek but so do his feet, we're both kinda meek and cheap, we leap instead of creep, cuz time is short and precious, karma did curse and bless us, it's a matter of perception, I'd take connection intimacy and affection over a leaky throbbing erection, cuz once u blow ur load, most get up and go, lust is temporary and unfulfilling, u can't rape the willing, bottoming takes practice, are u any good at this, or do u only go one way, vanilla and no role play, keep it spicy, don't make me bleed if u bite me, there are two definitions of fresh, but I digress, this isn't supposed to be a vocabulary lesson, nearly impossible to determine the tone in text messaging, sarcasm gets lost, truth and lies come with costs, if helping others helps ourselves is it the same for hurting, I know evil and the devil are lurking, but staying patient and cognitive, optimistic of the positive, disperse the good thoughts out there in the universe, before things get overwhelmingly worse, stop with the bad what ifs, take all life's experiences and random encounters as gifts, family and friends should add to enhance and uplift, get a fucking grip, fallibility is a part of human nature, pretty much won't ever hate ya, unless u really fuck me over, I'll always be a listening ear consoling soul/shoulder!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/30/17      

Stupefied...Who Knew

It's amazing how my life at 35 seems to be only beginning, unlike my waistline my head hair has been increasingly receding and thinning, but I feel sexier and more loved than ever, altho my rhymes can be truly profound and clever, my intent is to make u think and feel, Kevin makes me know love is actually real, and not just some made up fairy tale, he gives me strength when I'm frail fail or get derailed, he is simply one of a kind, so sexy and absolutely fine, it blows my mind, and he'd rather let me shine, since he's a bit overly humble modest bashful and shy, I'm very proud to shout out loud that he's my one and only guy, not gonna lie, I'm totally stupefied as to why, I've never had someone that attracted to me, the animal magnetism is even easy for others to see, we're constantly turning heads, I don't care what anybody says, hope this honeymoon phase never ends, I'm genuine and loyal to my significant other family and friends, in that specific order, unconditional love has no limits or borders, but I'm not into open relationships at all, I'll always answer the call, cuz I look forward to the sound of his voice, can't fathom or imagine any other better choice, in a sea full of people, his intoxicating pheromoned scent sealed the deal, we were drawn to each other, destined to be star crossed lovers, I knew right at first sight, marriage was no longer a maybe or might, neither of us are stereotypical gays, I'll love him forever ever and always, he made this year's birthday extra special, I'm so glad I never settled, cuz I'm pretty sure I was born to love u, altho the universe can often times appear pointless and cruel, especially with all the awful atrocities and shit we go thru, if I had to go back tho there's nothing I would redo, everything brought me to this point, I feel it in my gut loins heart soul bones and groin, with every ounce and fiber of my being, it was all for a reason and had meaning, I'm completely honored and privileged, u make me laugh and smile without taking advantage of my ticklishness, altho that will definitely be fun, there's so much to look forward to and still yet to come, like Tina Turner sang ur "simply the best", wait til we have more all night hot kinky steamy sex fests, can't tell who's the luckier one, or got the juicier bum bum, I wonder what lollipop they're talking about when they say yum yum, stick a fork in me I'm done, found the love of my life my world my mate, who knew fate would wind up being this great?!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/25/17

Effervescent & Idealistic

I don't always share my poetry on Facebook, but they're on my website if u wanna take a look, what people don't seem to understand, is I write for only one man, me myself and I, the reason or rationale why, is because it is my therapy, a way to deal with and get me, consciousness is sought, by following my own train of thought, cuz even I can confuse myself, being double Gemini doesn't help, many think I'm bipolar or straight up crazy, I just am over analytical worrisome and angsty adhd, especially since tomorrow I turn 35, this is the best year yet cuz I met the love of my life, he is the perfect present, making me feel special and effervescent, like together we can conquer the world, it took a lot of wrong oysters to find the right pearl, he is everything I ever wanted and dreamed of, taught me the definition of true love, reciprocated and beautifully imperfect, fuck cake I want fruity flavored rainbow sherbet, our flag is tasty and delicious, how can anyone hate gays enough to be malicious or vicious, there's already plenty of evil, we need a peaceful political upheaval, the politicians in power, are greedy negligent lying cowards, business has no heart or soul, money is the ultimate goal, hence the term capitalism, it used to be fighting for the greater good was considered nationalism, but now we've gotten corrupted, wait til both civil and world wars have erupted, creating all out chaos and confusion, perhaps peace is simply an idealistic illusion, and I'm naive to keep the faith, I continuously refuse to bow down give up or cave, I will never surrender to hopelessness nor disbelief, it seems we're trapped in an endless time looped cycle of atrocity and grief on repeat, so I try to stay focused on the here and now instead, the moments I get to cuddle and snuggle with my man in bed, it's easy to let the bad stuff pile up out of control, I don't want to drown my sorrows or numb my mind smoking another bowl, I'd rather deal with the reality, we all eventually become a casualty, so live each day to the fullest, whether the Dow is bearish or bullish, materialistic things don't mean shit, when the dust has been bit, dollars don't dictate value, shouldn't work cuz we have to, caught up treasuring possessions, when finding quality human connection is the real blessing, our priorities are askew, so tell me what ur gonna do to contribute, and what will the legacy we leave be, it's totally possible to unite on common ground if we compromise by sometimes agreeing to disagree!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/23/17

Bouts Of Doubt

We all have different perspectives, experiences and trials that have pushed our limits and tested, and the decisions we make define us, love and trust takes time and guts, I never wanna seem righteous, but my mom taught me those that love us may not like us, guess we have to learn how to agree to disagree, not everyone is an eternal hopeless optimist like me, I'm a special rare breed, who has hope faith and believes, that everything happens for a reason and it'll all be ok, personally don't think life would be any easier not being gay, I won't entertain what ifs and wishful thinking, cuz the sky's already fallen and the ship's been sinking, I don't like to wallow in self pity nor doubt, I do realize however people have harder circumstances and more challenging bouts, and tho I may think I know and understand, at the end of the day I'm fallible like every other man, sometimes I don't practice what I preach, bossing someone around isn't a good way to teach, it's better to lead by example, perhaps I'm more than u can handle, but yes I'm stubborn and won't give up, especially when ur just a lil down on ur luck, been there done that, I'll always have ur back, if u let me in, alphas often over compensate when feeling more vulnerable than their shin, sensitivity doesn't make men weak, u grow more thru mistakes failure and defeat, words too like actions have consequences, why are we so divided by imaginary walls and fences, fucking up the ebb and flow, do u get the ideas of manifest destiny and reap what u sow, stop dominating and controlling the conversation, look at all the energy worrying is wasting, say what ull do and mean and do and mean what u say, I'd never intentionally hurt u by asking u to change, this is who I am, if anybody can relate without judgment I can, stop assuming I want to take a break, who cares if we're late, it doesn't seem to bother u when it's time to leave, tip toeing around issues is a big pet peeve, double standards are annoying, I'm sorry but driving gets my blood pressure boiling, which in turn negatively effects u, most can't face the truth, being an empath I'm like a mirror, can see solutions in others clearer, often neglecting my own short comings and faults, get aggressively assertive with passionate verbal assaults, it's not in my nature to be violent, sit back relax just be quiet and silent, I'm not ur wife, I may be submissive in the bedroom but not in life, I'll always fight for what's right, try to measure my bite, cuz I don't want to flag with black and blue, ever be the source of ur pain a scar or bruise, calm ur ego and pride, maybe I should've given u what u needed which was some space and a good cry!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/22/17

Love's Beyond Time

We all have good days and bad, I'd prefer to make u happy not mad or sad, since u bring me so much joy, I love being ur lil pig pup boy, ur everything I've ever wanted dreamed and fantasized about, I still don't know why or how, I mean I must have more luck than I thought, I never thought I'd be caught, always been told I'm too intense by other men, kink for me is meditational helping to find my zen, but my insatiable appetite freaks many out, I definitely don't want to instigate another bout, simply expressing myself, desperately trying to help, get me in the right mindset, love competing and making bets, loser bottoms for the night, of course we can also have a wrestling match/fight, but I don't wanna break another rib, totally down with kids, but u will forever be my number one priority, the king of our dynasty in regards to hierarchy, will risk sinning or an eternity in hell worshiping u as a false God, we both gotta learn each other's ticks and tricks to getting rock hard, explore more of ur fetishes, I love u in spite of ur past flaws and blemishes, it's nonjudgmental and unconditional, sex isn't pivotal or super critical, a definite bonus for sure, concerned more with having a solid foundation or core, don't need a piece of paper or a ring, to show and flaunt ur my one and only my everything, it's in my smile and radiating aura, I'll travel to St. Louis Seattle Portugal Guam or Bora Bora, to the ends of the world the universe and even beyond, we have a deep meaningful everlasting soul mate kind of a bond, TLC described u with the album entitled "Crazy Sexy Cool", I hope u never ever get tired of the endless I love yous, cuz I'll constantly shower u with affection, u may not be the Lord and savior but ur absolutely a blessing, the object of my obsession, life's way too short for regretting, so let's live in this moment in the here and now, keep intimacy private not flaunting it in big crowds, have faith courage and guts, remember to first focus and work on just us, no walking away, please don't be afraid to say what u gotta say, I can take it, won't fake shit, stay genuine and honest, remain humble and modest, it'll all turn out fine, if we can be patient and give it time!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/19/17

Forever & Ever & Always

Trying to get my self esteem and confidence back, after some douche called me an ugly troll that's fat, I know it's not true, he was being a rude fool, thought he could hurt me with words, I don't pay attention to slutty lying jerks, but he caught me at a vulnerable time, was struggling to find my shine, especially standing next to my man, both men and women are fans, he is so sexy and beautiful, makes me feel puppy like and youthful, I can admit I'm cute as hell, but if we were at a ball he would be belle, yet give me a mic and the stage, and spectators will stop to gaze engage and rave, my talent has mass appeal, I'm wicked genuine honest uncensored and conscious when I express how I feel, whether thru poetry or music, I take my life experience and use it, to not only better myself but inspire others, in bed with my guy even in winter we don't need covers, cuz we're both furnaces producing major heat, it's hard to tell who's got the sweatier and smellier pits and feet, I'm Italian and he's Portuguese, he's super sarcastic competitive overprotective but also very sweet, totally smitten and obsessed with me, we hold one another's key, not into that open relationship shit, I think this is some forever and ever kind of love not just a blip, for better or for worse, whatever hurdles lurk, and when things get too much or tough, we will help lift each other up, fuck red bull he gives me wings to fly high, there's no scientific explanation why u can even ask Bill Nye, sometimes like magic u know, we speak in secret language and code, he reads me like a book, I eat he cooks, the crook stole my heart, don't need elaborate sides or garnishes I'll take him a la carte, he's simply that special, I'm the fruit so he's the vegetable, we go hand in hand, always is the ultimate goal/plan!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/1/17

My Love My Heart

I'm exhausted but still up, finding the will to work thru love, and a large ice coffee, there's a fine line between frugal and paupery, had an impromptu date night, I instantly glowed upon first sight, he makes my days, teasing the envious gays, with his sexy good looks, plus he's domesticated and knows how to cook, every minute I'm with him, I've got an ear to ear grin, some say a devilish smirk, we both can be sarcastic jerks, but that's part of our charm, we mean absolutely no harm, just playful fun, I can't help grabbing his buns, and he loves sniffing mine, every morning he looks forward to my new rhyme, he's super supportive, strict tho when it comes to punishment or being rewarded, I guess I get caught up wanting all the attention, hope patience is one of those life lessons, u learn over time, foreplay gets me primed, all hot and horny, ya'll may find our pet names kinda corny, but the tokens of affection won't fade, neither will the relentless shade, we have our lil inside jokes, Phil Collins and how many songs Mariah Carey actually wrote, he's usually wrong, wants me to make my own beats for my songs, I love that he challenges me, with our combined talents we, are an unstoppable force, many are wondering who's boss, but we are versatile equals, what's the big deal, our roles and positions aren't really ur business, believe u me our sexual chemistry is the shiznit, ya'll don't have to worry, he's my hubby til dead and buried, or maybe cremated, I am truly happy and elated, I know it's cheesy, it's not the exact famous line from Jerry Maguire but he completes me, nothing will tear us apart, cuz not only do u have but u are my heart!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/17/17

Awe Shucks Sir

I'm crazy baby in love with u, am I a buffoon saying it too soon, whoops-a-daisy, ya'll haters don't phase me, but his insecurity does, I wanna shower him with kisses and hugs, and take him away, to a much happier place, where he is appreciated, it's sad when family makes u feel depreciated, I think he's simply amazing, we're all constantly changing, I wanna make u better, every poem lately has been a love letter, I know ur doing all that u can, having money or a place of ur own doesn't make u a man, it's the dick between ur legs, sorry for the side effects of the psych meds, I too have some problems, and in time we'll solve em, I ain't worried, wish my birthday would get here in a hurry, cuz I want u so bad, I hate how she makes u so mad, fuck her, awe shucks Sir, u rock my world, we're like chocolate and vanilla swirl, a tasty treat, we were destined to meet, star-crossed, ur a sexy boss, and I'm proud to be ur slave, like Austin Powers says "oh behave", "do I make u horny", everyone warned me, ull find it when u stop looking, was never into online hookering, but I'm glad I took a chance, I like to sing and u dance, so let's join hands, compromise and try to understand, relationships take dedication hard work and sacrifice, u are the light and the love of my life, it just feels right, I even love to fight, cuz make-up sex is the best, whether u wear a leather harness hat jock or vest, I settled for more never less, whatever happens next, I know ull be there by my side, thru high or low tide, together we enjoy the ride, what we have is something people dream of that money can't buy, ur not shy, proclaiming u have eyes for ur one and only guy, ur very over protective, but we've both been infected, with the poison of Cupid's arrow, lust is superficial and shallow, our love is profound and deep, I want u to be the first thing I see and the last before I fall asleep, ur not just what I want but what I need, ur more important to me than the air I breathe, u should know and trust that, and I will always have ur back!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/16/17

Ride By My Side

They keep asking why ur with him, but I won't let my insecurities begin to win, cuz I honestly don't know why either, I feel fat shirtless or wearing a wife beater, yet I push myself to do it anyway, that's just the way of the gays, superficial ruthless and petty, I think we were both just ready, I don't know how I snagged him honestly, he's super fucking sexy and that's putting it modestly, plus he's got a killer personality drenched in sarcasm, I love teasing him to the point of twitching throbbing and spasming, simply because for some reason I can, he is so rugged handsome and all man, I have to pinch myself often to see if I'm dreaming, I never want to lose this feeling, I'm head over heels smitten in love, I can't seem to ever get enough, and it's weird to know that it's completely mutual, the odds of me finding anyone more compatible is incomputable, he is absolutely my dream guy, without him I'd die and wouldn't even wanna be alive, he's brought so much joy to my life, from the start it just felt right like lust at first sight, then the more I got to know, the harder it became to try and let go, even a few days a part, weighs heavy on my heart, I want to be with him forever and always, wish it could be no work and all play, wouldn't that be the greatest, by no means am I an ageist, but it's nice to be with an adult not a boy, it's never my intent to harass be too needy or annoy, he is truly addicting, even when I'm sleeping and fantasizing it's him I'm picturing, hope he's my last, so the future isn't anything resembling my past, where I was lonely unfulfilled bored and alone, he makes me imagine being married with children living in a beautiful home, who would've thought, I could get caught, he stole my soul, filled in the empty hole, making my existence complete, giving me strength when I was weak, can accomplish conquering the world with u by my side, for the first time I'm actually learning to enjoy this crazy ride!

Peace and 1,
JC
5/15/17