Change Is Strange

Today was a wakeup call, mom had a fall, on the floor for hours, I surrender to my higher power, I need help myself, no amount of wealth, can fix the problems, I just wanna solve em, this darkness never ends, I don't even wanna get mind numbingly bent, I pray she's ok, and lives at least another year or 2 from today, I'm not ready to let her go, that's beyond my control tho, I hope I can find my inner strength and faith, it ain't living if I wait, and may seem strange, but I think it's finally time to change!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/29/23

No Unity In The LGBTQ Community

Today I spent the day in bed, if u couldn't tell from my poem yesterday I'm depressed, no pride alive, years fly by, yet no respect earned, I've come to learn, there ain't any unity, in this hetero induced LGBTQ community, definitely no love lost, how much does a fuck cost, or perhaps ur character/soul, what is the ultimate goal, mine used to be music, but the industry is corrupt and abusive, this life isn't for me, perhaps hip hop success is just not meant to be, so take me home already, leaving me alone's deadly, I can't even remember happy, seems I must be nasty, and not the good kind, our moral compasses aren't aligned, hope my next statement is digestible, from this point forward consider me asexual!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/28/23

Excluded Yet Again

What if I was gone, would y'all even mourn, I'm alive and barely thought of, yearning for more love, or maybe I just need sex, still wondering if gay equals hexed, I'm tired being hired, to be abused then fired, when it's time for a raise, wish being genuinely authentic with raw talent paid, y'all think famous musicians are rich, digital is such a bitch, it devalued original artists, who be working the hardest, but get absolutely no where, like yall don't even care, ud rather support straights and drag, excluding me from my community is making me mad, I've had enough of this dismissal, life seems so abysmal, my dad and sister are the lucky ones, sometimes I really wanna give up and just be done!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/27/23

Time For A Reroaring Renaissance & Let's Rise

Just turned 41, and life's starting to get real fun, altho Tina Turner died, I'm still joyously grateful about to celebrate Pride, I've worked hard to get here, conquered so much hate and fear, I'm rather quite surprised, I wish my sister was still alive, this year hit different, time sure flies by in an instant, hope y'all will celebrate with me, my genuine authenticity, I'm definitely not perfect, but all LGBTQ+ are worth it, unconditional love, let's have a reroaring renaissance and rise the fuck up!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/25/23

Invisibly Devalued

The question lately I've been asking, should I go back to school for music production and/or broadcasting, do I also dare, maybe minor in theater, or just self teach myself, can anybody out there please help, I'm yearning for some direction or guidance, all I've gotten is a shitton of "denied" agains, nothing is meant for me, which I refuse agreeing to disagree, my wants the horizon line, while I'm hiding behind lying I'm fine, when obviously not, it actually bothers me quite alot, I mean when's mine, what about my time, tired of internalizing whining, cuz I'm too serious and heavy, quietly procrastinating instead regrettably inevitably, so y'all are ignorantly unprepared, ur deeds show me nobody cares, so I'm left feeling invisibly devalued, only tolerated cuz y'all have to!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/16/23

MJV 143

Thru all the ups and downs in life, whether wrong or right, u were always by my side, after dad and G died, uve become my whole world now, I don't know when or how, but I'm determined to make u proud, I'll write it down then say it out loud, uve guided my faith, helped me find my way, all I ever hope and pray, is that u know I'm so grateful to be ur son not just today but each and every single mothers day!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/14/23

Good's Misunderstood

Why do I feel the need to justify my resilience and strength, I def spent alot of time bent, how else can I quiet my brain, numb the heartache and pain, life's just hard, how u play God's cards, often fatalistic or narcissistic, fallibility and hypocrisy are intrinsic, again the pendulum swings, u can't have roots and wings, well I do, and flew too, but now everything's changed, the world's overrun by capitalistic zombies with soul sucking fangs, where did genuine authenticity go, boy has religious ignorance and complicity grown, I mean slavery still exists, prejudice and discrimination continues to persist, yet nobody's paying attention, in reflection everybody's deflecting or projecting, energy friction, I have a human interaction addiction, especially since covid, our recovery has been very unfocused, we keep losing sight of what's important, sick of all the baiting exploiting and escorting, they've bastardized good, to the point words like truth sex and love are completely misunderstood!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/5/23

Here I Come Til I've Won At Least One Hun

What u hear and read is what see with  me...especially live which is where I thrive and MCJC comes alive...ready to grind and shine...everything happens in its time...I ain't lying...nas on point with life's a bitch and then u ya die that's why we get high...never know when ya gonna go...which blows even mo' fo' sho'...focus on the positive and let nothing stop us...double Gemini with quadruple sides egos and prides...very revolutionary with plenty of integrity embedded buried beneath deep...finally screaming out loud and proud about to bout...but now y'all pout cuz I'm not fowl mouthed...my brands on point and enjoying ur so bothered/annoyed...it's apparent I've got massive raw talent there's no comparison...just starting to gain traction taking action...our months coming up when it's all just spreading gay love with lots of kisses and hugs...don't judge shrug or begrudge all religiously smug...like the Fugees ready or not here I come for fun son...I'm never done til at least one Grammy's been won hun!!!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/3/23

Not Perfect But Totally Worth It

I woke up feeling imperative, my last poem shouldn't be negative, what can I say, I had a bad day, but I won't let that define me, is treating with love kindly or blindly, like Leona I just wanna be happy, lately life seems so crappy, how do I motivate joy, is god just a ploy, where are u it's me Joe, did u already go, am I being carried, our footprints married, cuz I only see one set, is faith a safe bet, so many questions, simply don't feel the blessings, why all the grief, stop testing my belief, when's enough, I know I'm tough, but isn't there more to existence, then fallibility and resilience, what about success, do I have to love less, since no one can have it all, must've missed my call, and u didn't leave a message, u take no responsibility for the wreckage, maybe I just won't listen, trying to give myself permission, I'm not perfect, but damnit if I'm not totally worth it!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
5/2/23

Final Goodbye Time

Yet another day...afraid I'm fading away...out of sight then mind...too bad it doesn't pay to be kind...do I even matter at all...why do I continue to text and call...making room isn't a real effort...never thought I measured...cuz ur more words not deeds...ur actions don't match beliefs preached...too much grace to push back...it's self love I lack...keep letting u in again...when I don't wanna be just friends...so I think it's finally time...I cut the chord and say goodbye...maybe we're not meant to be...or it's probably me...I'm not enough...rejections tough...yet it hasn't killed...perhaps it's unreasonable to expect success happiness and being fulfilled...how dare I dream that big...stop living to work when y'all should only work to better live...I give what I get...but I'm frustrated irritated and upset...guess I chose wrong...no labels like my songs...I so wanna give up...life just sucks and I'm tired of getting fucked!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/30/23

Puff A Phatty Happy 4/20

Come puff another phatty, with rap's leather daddy, holla for a dolla at me, if u wanna get zooted nasty, gotta get ur heads out those phones, chill out and smoke, toke a bowl, y'all know I stay stoned, life's just better that way, helps me mentally escape, socially relax, that's facts, cuz I'm overwhelmed by sheeple, who think pots evil and lethal enough to be illegal, which is simply silly, what about medicinal responsibility, y'all advocate for cigs and booze, blindly eat toxic foods, I'll never understand, it's cool if ur not a fan, but damn man, it's a fucking plant, what's the big deal, like for real, pay me in pot instead of money, hope everyone has a fun safe and happy 4/20!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/20/23

All Love Truth & Peace

Intense isn't my intent...that's why I stay bent...as a Gemini I only know extremes...I'm that classic example of beeing seen for what it seems...when I'm somewhere deep in the inbetween...my aura usually sheens purple or green...I severely struggle agreeing to disagree...especially about something I passionately believe...expert defenseman can accept defeat over retreat...I'm aware of certain privelage but much too humble to be elite...with me it's ultimately all love truth and peace!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/15/23

Don't Ever Ever Ever Give Up

Coming to terms with my relationship being just friends, I guess it's true everything that begins ends, the feelings aren't dead, perhaps they were misread in my head, but he was such a great idea, not sure if it's his insecurity and fear, or what I did wrong, life solo seems so long, am I simply not enough, cursed with bad luck, fuck sex I miss intimacy and romance, wish I could keep replaying our new years slow dance, that was such a beautiful moment, keep ur heart open to fall in love often I condone it, express to people how u feel, telling others instead isn't keeping it real, leave ur baggage with the past, it'll destroy ur future fast, time to let him go, battle this miserable existence alone, maybe someday he will come back around, afterall absence can be pretty profound, he was such a surprising rare find, unconditionally kind, still tho gotta show myself more love, and no matter what don't ever ever ever give up!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/13/23

Spread Consciousness & Existentialism

The leather rap daddy, that's a better mac zaddy, actually practically factually masterfully dastardly, in all actuality nastily sassy classy crafty, pretty wickedly witty deep in the nitty gritty, bigotry's hypocritically synchronicity with illiteracy embitters me, this is some serious shit not silly/willy nilly, my ultimate passion and purpose, we grow more from what hurts us, like tragedy and grief, can't take away my peace or belief, endless tremendous hope and faith, marijuana and music's how I cope and get saved, divine amazing grace, my greatness is fated but I don't set the pace, we can't be late, cuz life ain't a race, enjoy the ride with pride, do ur best so u can hold ur head up high and sleep at night, with age comes wisdom, all I wanna do is continue to spread consciousness and existentialism!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/11/23

Souls Collectively Connecting

Not great at listening I'm very self involved, not communicating won't help getting problems solved, however I'm not very critical, more super sarcastic than literal, but I take life very seriously, instead of hilariously, I promise I have a dry sense of humor, not interested in gossip or rumor, been trying to leave space for grace, my whole existence I bloomed late, except when it comes to death, which left me overwhelmed feeling inept, just not sustainable enough, no luck with romantic love, always lost alone stuck, questioning my gut, aww shucks it sucks seeing a shmuck putz, staring back in the mirror, therapy may help u navigate clearer, still u gotta implement the learned tools, stop insisting ur a powerless victim u fools, take responsibility and control, no ones half of a whole, marriage isn't necessarily the goal, I dream of collective connection with other beautiful souls!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
4/4/23

Classically Sacastically Sassy

People say fake it til u make it, how bout face it and create from it, yet another lesson that probably won't get learned, money hunny is all that's yearned, why haven't I earned opportunity or respect, let me help conscious hip hop resurrect, fuck the thrill wisdoms gone, I always felt in me Tupac was reborn, just like him I'm not a thug, I'm gay and still show women mad love, lifting the whole LGBTQ community up, cuz im tough enough, yet still humble vulnerable and soft, my privileged soul can't be bought, call me Harry Potter, that's facts I'm smarter and work harder, I've looked like Joni from both sides, to be me I ain't gotta put on a disguise, I'm not naturally flashy, promiscuously slutty/trashy, rather classically sarcastically sassy, white so I don't have to fight ashy, got a question just ask me, but lastly actually all that matters b, is that we do our best to be happy!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/31/23

Already Won Hunny Bun

This is me starting from scratch, perhaps I'm trapped in an egg that hasn't hatched, that's me tho, such a late bloomer bro, like literally, it sounds silly, but I'm still waiting for my life to start, I think he snatched my heart, he's such an inspiration, hoping there will be more integration, blending our lives together, making each other better, I feel I'm being lifted up, he gives the best kisses and hugs, I'm so nervous I'm just not enough, always had such tough luck, but then again, we are still working on being friends, that's ok, he's not overtly gay, I like that, says he's got my back, gets me outta my head, now that my dad and sister are dead, I'm anxious to create a family, using what was handed to me, cuz after mom goes, it's just Joe, and that's so weird to think, like I was born then blinked, now I'm 40, navigating awkwardly, seems I'm just beginning, I hope my mom sees me winning, altho I may have already won, with my boo thang/hunny bun, at times I feel under the gun, often shunned, since I don't fit a certain image, refuse to use gimmicks, I'm too genuine and honest, to a fault humble and modest, yet authentic and real, never needed to seal a deal, with a ring, will I ever hear him sing, I've heard stories, I wanna see him in all his glory, truly happy, radiating his amazing smile at me!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/29/23

Enlightening Writing Is Fighting

I keep refinding that writing, is retrospectively therapeutic yet enlightening, it's rather frightening, how it's become my revolutionary fighting, there's nobody else doing what I'm doing, building bridges musically pursuing, using my privelage as a platform, against the rap norm, not another stereotypical presumption, there's no responsibility for wasteful consumption, I'm satire personified, not a con nor lie, the real deal, reiterating to people my shpeel, I'm a gay white rapper singer songwriter poet, R.A.P. is an acronym if u didnt know it, got a ton of heart and soul, but the business hustle and struggle takes a toll, I'm still a starving artist, working the hardest, waiting on some accolades and flowers, hated on by ignorant jealous cowards, who can't walk their talk, just gawk and stalk, all squawk, surrounded by lots of sharks snakes and hawks, but that's alright, cuz y'all won't ever dim my bright light!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/17/23

Leave Room For Love Grace & Gratitude

Please don't be scared, know that I'm always here, tho at times there's space between, I'll give grace indeed, u may not know how, to get up again when down, cuz depression is a father fucker, we all deserve a sarcastic laughter lover, or a round of applause, as u walk in the door, transform gloom with smiling swoon, news shouldn't be allowed to spew fear lies or doom, let's get money out of it too, stop electing ignorant incapable fools, love is universal, but in life ain't no rehearsal, so choices matter, we're all battered torn and tattered, growing old is privelage, cuz u outlive shit, still we all need support, wondering will I be blessed with a cohort, to walk with me, even if at times awkwardly, over plenty peaks and valleys, I just wanna be part of his happy, bring some sustainability and peace, come back to the table instead of retreat, isolation isn't good, silence gets misunderstood, it's ok to show suffering thru tears, we're so focused on fears, there's simply no room, to find any gratitude, yet ur essence radiates light, probably too humbly unaware of ur powerful might to fight for what's right, ur one of the great guys, don't even need make up or a disguise, genuinely authentic and pure, in a shallow materialistic heteronormative white world he is my cure!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/16/23

Late Bloomer US Boomers All Kings Diseasy

Most men believe vulnerability means ur weak, speak on the bleak not just happy, live in ur truth uncensored, y'all social medially indentured, showing only the highlight reel, instead of expressing how u really feel, good or bad, mad and sad, be exploitful, when ur joyful, but don't get caught up in illusion, forgive my intrusion, I'm always deep, sew yet don't reap, so not superficial, rude or hypocritical, especially intentionally, I'm multidimensionally me, an openly gay double Gemini, knowingly submissive but non effeminate guy, super emotional tho, totally a stoner hoe, only indica please, I'm minimalist chic not cheap, perhaps frugal, is wishing hip hop success futile, cuz my life would be in vain, that plight's strife's wracking my brain, humanity's stain, it's insanity shame's engrained in the pained, engraved in the hearts and souls of the enslaved, beholden to cave, taught and told to behave, just remain quiet, the rich and powerful disdain riots, knowledge is revolutionary, free education is evolutionary, the US are apparently late bloomers, the youth's doomed cuz baby boomers, who refuse to relinquish and share the wealth, they never took initiative to protect planetary health, colonization killed that initiative thru a trail of tears, nowadays the whole globe's controlled by fear, injustice running rampant, 1% comfortably glamping, all kings diseasy selfish and greedy, eradicating any welfare programs supporting the poor and needy, our government's disgusting, cutting and gutting, democracy at its core, capitalism's flawed wanting exponentially more, that's simply unsustainable, some stereotypes falsely identify/label, which just fucks love up, scarcity sucks, but we willingly hamster wheely rely on luck, to miraculously help get us unstuck!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/25/23

Why Not Give It All We Got

I love soul rnb pop rock and esp hip hop, but I'm at the point I need to get a day job, y'all don't crave enough to pay, not sure if it's cuz I'm too old white privileged or openly gay, or perhaps I'm to blame, getting in my own way, overwhelmed by concentrated grief, how do I maintain any hope faith or belief, even down on my knees, I'm not being heard or seen, like I'm not worthy of existence, my life's defined by my resilience/consistent persistence, am I close to done yet, with all that I've given when do I get, of course I'm upset I'm hurt, feel cursed since birth, just me and my mom, wondering can a sub become dom, gotta switch up tactics, instead of defensive get active, go after what I want, stay humble tho don't gloat or flaunt, help lift others up, spread lots of hugs and love, cuz we never know, if there's no tomorrow, enjoy each moment to the fullest, play this metaphorical game of life bullish, I mean why not, give it all we got!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/23/23

Fuck No Homo Stoner Bro Poets Allowed

Indecision becomes a prison, why isn't anybody listening, I'm responsible but don't make major decisions, in my opinion evil is ruling over our dominion, and good people are getting screwed, karma's confused, I'm tired of being used and abused, shooed and poo pooed by the lewd crude prude, I'm super insecure being publically nude, and I don't know why, I'm slightly bashful but not a shy guy, by any means, considered a pot fiend, cuz yeah I'm probably high, like 97% of the time, life's just better stoned, my hip hop craft has been fine tuned/honed, I'm at the point in my life, I'm hungry to fight, so watch out, I'm rap ready to bout, now that I've got some clout, fuck this no homo stoner bro poets allowed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/20/23

No Too Soon To Say I Love U

When's too soon, to say I love u, 3 days weeks or months, I don't say it tons, just moments I truly feel it, that real shit, but it doesn't need to be said in return, u learn the yearn, over a non specified period of time, without reason but in rhyme, there's different levels, it can completely destroy and deshevel, needs to be mourned and grieved, when it's complete, I mean where does the love go, when the relationship's done tho, seems to translate into hate, I wanna break that fate, at least remain friends, that type of connection never ends, fuck sex, and y'alls definition of success, I want peace, and to be happy, which he makes me, especially lately, not in a codependent way, but it ain't easy being gay, like my dad asked he lifts me up, washes my worries away with his big bear hugs, even when life gets rough and tough, I hope he knows he's just as unconditionally loved!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/14/23

Revolutionary Activism

Hip hop is revolutionary activism, but most ya'll ain't living or listening, music is supposed to be transcendent and enlightening, there's a big difference between freestyle battling and songwriting, esp since I'm only authentic and genuine, I'm much more of a humble gentleman, but that don't make me a nice chump finishing last, I don't feel the need to put others on blast, I'd rather self deprecate than appropriate, definitely ain't trying to perpetuate hate, but since I'm gay and white, best believe I'm here queer and ready to ignite that fight, to help love win, when will fun rebegin, I haven't had any since I was a kid, death and grief make it impossible to forgive, what's the point, if existence is just a Shakespearean tragedy I'm pissed off/annoyed, fairness and justice are fairytale fables, I'm always ready willing and able, to throw a R.A.P show on the spot, giving my whole heart and soul with all that I've got, to entertain y'all, while I navigate life's trustfall, knowing none of u will even try to catch me, does anyone else think about legacy, I'm still determined to make mine epic, probably seem crazy and eccentric, to think a faggot cracker rapper can succeed in the mainstream, selling out stadiums and winning Grammys, I don't care if u equally agree or believe, cuz only I can achieve my own dreams I conceive!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/6/23