Reckless Abandon: Fallibly Flawed

A new chapter has already begun, it's called reckless abandon, like a Phoenix burning my path unapologetically, y'all can't keep up with me intellectually, nor emotionally, I'm the problem supposedly, focused on my reaction not the cause, bullying and gaslighting me without pause, enabling irresponsibility, this whole situation is absurdly silly, cyclical insanity, the abuse isn't my profanity, it's her lack of communication and understanding, her manipulation is dastardly conniving and underhanded, we are both victims here, accountability isn't being remotely closely shared, they're all too scared of confronting her, an intervention occurred, I became the danger, essentially told to leave and be a stranger, but only for a lil while and tell us ur plan now, I have no fucking clue how, yet I got this, I lit myself on fire to keep y'all in ur warm fuzzy ignorant bliss, asking me to forgettably let go of the past and trust they're gonna step up, call this just tough love, when the truth is people don't change, and a lifetime of experience remains, I was the only one there thru it all, I am no longer lucky or blessed to have any safety net when I fall, I'm done apologizing cuz of shame and guilt, enjoy drowning in the hollow empty king's diseasy existence u hoardishly built, surrounded by leeches and crabs, hope ur happy with all the stuff u have, goodbye forever, u are the reason we couldn't weather this together, u choose to procrastinate and ignore, unwilling to admit ur simply human/fallibly flawed, desperately in need of some serious help, just no longer from me since u refuse to urself!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/4/23

I Am Mary Jane Not A Gardner

I love u so much I hate u, like an addicted codependent soul mated fool, I'm ur choice u weren't mine, taking responsibility is fine, but with u it's all one way streets, major hypocrisy, selfishness and hoarding, nobody has been heeding my warning, no more ignoring and procrastinating, I'm done compromising and debating, the time is now, and I have the intelligence and know how, she's gotta give up control, let go especially of pride and ego, and have faith that I'm perfectly capable and able, to make sure we are both forever taken care of safe and stable, but in order for that to happen she must relinquish power, she's the gardner and I'm her last flower, what happens after retirement, we have to adapt to changing circumstances and a new environment, perhaps I grew thru the concrete, being part of a garden isn't guaranteed, I don't know why, only I persevered succeeded and thrived, but I'm done feeling guilty and ashamed, perhaps quite literally the personification of Mary Jane, we ain't the same, neither's about to change, guess pain just comes with gains, may translate into scars but eventually fades and wanes!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/1/23

Actually Magically Transcendent & Divine Sublime

Is it too much to ask, to be nice and not finish last, why doesn't being good pay, can we stop letting evil get its way, how come life isn't fair, wonder which sex is more defined by their hair, who named the wife beater, I've strived to be a light beamer, even in this world of heartless darkness, it's not about working the hardest but smartest, and society is failing, trying to fix shit jailing, when existence is literally a prison system, we collectively need to practice wisdom listening, not problem solving all the time, many hide behind the line I'm fine, but in reality they're suffering, I miss the bliss of dad and sis buffering, u best believe, grief is never brief, it sticks with u too, like an unhealed wound or bruise, spiritual abuse, u just simply can't mute, shouldn't dwell on it tho and excessively wallow, become so numb and hollow from the sorrow, I dim or extinguish, why don't most rappers grow up distinguished, seems only valid if ur broke from guttered ghettos, another exclusive club for the heteros, gotta somehow master actor that x factor, disguise truth thru sarcasm and laughter, these sheeple can't understand genuine authentic realness, music that moves and soothes u to deeply feel it, effecting ur whole soul, connecting younger generations with old, it's quite amazingly divine, magically transcendent and rather sublime!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/29/23

Friction Love

"I want y'all to loudly whisper Joe Conscious...til it becomes obnoxious.. .cuz it's hypnotic and intoxicating...so stop hating and start appreciating...my lyrical intelligence and wisdom...join our fabulous LGBTQ kingdom...where we transcend and trust that the thrust of lust...frictions lots of consenual hugs and allows all of us to just love"

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/23/23

A Worthless Hot Mess Inept At Success

Trying to shed the mental dread and darkness is the hardest, procrastinating selling her assets is not the smartest, she's burdening me with so much, when did I become a crutch, I can't handle all this, miss the peaceful bliss, that won't come til she's gone, I know in my heart that thinking is wrong, but it's my truth, psychological and spiritual abuse is hard to prove, life isn't fair it's only about having children and money, I'm not even being dramatic sarcastic or funny, no wonder I have no value or worth, I'm an unemployed single childless gay artist living at my moms house wishing I was never birthed, I mean why do I even exist, Earth is a hellish prison not a gift and I'm fucking pissed, I reject the notion I'm privileged or blessed, I get absolutely no credit compensation compassion or respect, especially my boundary lines, I'm expected to compromisingly change all the time, cuz u can't teach an old dog new tricks, I find boomers to be hoardish and extremely toxic, they've left nothing but a hot mess, while us cuspy gen x are completely inept and set up for failure instead of success!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/23/23

Oohs Awws & Wows

I don't condone, dogging imposter syndrome, I understand the pressure, embracing being a gay man I can't help but feel lesser, went from being a percieved prince charming to king, the day my dad stopped living, the queen is still alive so she rules the castle, trying to make it as a successful white poet rapper's a major hastle, if we had a black president and Kamala as VP now, what I wonder is how, haven't we had someone like me conquer the hip hop scene, is it cuz I don't come from poverty, I also didn't have a silver spoon, neither girls nor guys look at me and swoon, since I'm simply superficially an average Joe, when in reality a tragic maverick homo bro, tho I wasnt yanked out the closet, there's no trophy that goes to which letter has it the hardest, it's been a long hard road of self discovery, nothing came easy or suddenly, I had to abandon all I ever knew, stopping the hamster wheel insanity and try something completely new, pivot from being an introverted wallflower, to finding my voice identity and power, thru trial and error with lots of failure, music was always my one and only savior, but don't get it twisted I struggle with hope and faith, I'm insecure at times often lacking the patience to wait, submissive but have trouble surrendering, much too raw real and genuine, to pretend I'm something else, building bridges and planting roots helps, I'm finally learning to use my wings, while fine tuning my confidence to proudly loudly rap and sing when live performing, I've elevated and evolved, way past the chance of boos to just oohs awws and wows! 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/12/23

A Literary Ho Who Wrote

I'm a literary ho, my kids are the poems and songs I wrote, been doin it since June 2008, never intended to be one of the epically greats, perhaps it was always my destined fate, maybe I'm from outer space, just don't radiate gaylien, I'll never understand discriminating shaming, but better believe they are showing u who they really are, trauma can permanently leave scars, why do I spar so hard, pretty good playing the hand dealt in cards, since wicked resilient and adaptable, I find Rhode Island uninhabitable, the home I'd known, I had outgrown and desired to roam, and now I feel that way about the whole country, I'm so sick and tired of everyone being so damn cunty, especially politically, which is hypocritically silly, it's all childish behavior, who's gonna be our savior, we can't take a repeat election, seems both these men can't complete an erection, cuz they're too old, I boo polls, they're generally inaccurate, most candidates are simply inadequate, we need someone to rise up, unless the time's come to decree bye bye luck!

Try Try Try Til I Die

If u think saying I'm a cancer survivor, makes me a liar, I lost my big sis right when she turned 42, and basically a piece of me died too, just a couple years after dad, but if u think that's tragically drastically sad, I lost my friend and childhood neighbor, 3 super short days later, plus the fact he was there with me when she passed was rad/major, since I'm such a consciousness elevator, I often wonder what'll happen when I meet my maker, cuz I'm pissed the fuck off, yes...let's talk about tough love, when is enough enough, that's way too rough and tough, once moms gone I'll have no more immediate blood, technically an orphan, left to spend eternity suffering in solitude mourning, without warning spawned feeling torn, wicked privelaged and blessed yet scorned, often regret even being born, gratitude's another platitude each and every single god damn dawn, like Pac tho "still I rise", so much resilience all I know is try try try til I die!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
8/8/23

Insight To Unite & Light A Peace Pipe

Seeing Pink and Pat was absolutely incredible, both their live performance skills are quite commendable, then we had a guys night down at Bonnet, it's already the 6th and I haven't written one August sonnet, getting back to living again, really narrowed my circle of fam fans and friends, actually drawing boundary lines, learning somehow to pay attention to divine signs, seizing opportunity left and right, deciphering which battles to pick and fight, what's worth my time and energy, I'm very genuine with plenty of character soul and integrity, constantly striving to achieve a better me, life is ultimately deadly, that's facts, y'all spaz to the max, esp at an openly gay white rap dude who spews truth, like I lyrically juice, when in reality I've been blessed with wings and roots, ur legacy's defined by what u choose, since most don't or won't take action, lacking any purpose or passion, seems we've lost all motivation and hope, only empathetic to the anti woke, idolizing cheating the system, money's just a funny illusion but got us imprisoned, enslaved til graved, it's cool to discriminate and hate, these days brings those folks together, easily conquered once divided and untethered, afterall we need each other, we're all metaphorically sisters and brothers, so why can't we get along, jam out sing and dance to a good song, and by the way it ain't wrong, to do what Cypress Hill states and take "rips from the bong", maybe if we light a collective peace pipe, it might help insight the whole globe to unite!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

8/6/23

Take It Easy Demeaningly Appeasing Me

Gotta just grin and bear it, mama isn't ever gonna hear shit, no disrespect, I get she's trying to overprotect, I'll never understand, like women can't man, and vice versa, stop arguing who's worser, it ain't a word, I'm a terrible flirt, I'm too naive, with a deep need to people please, I don't mingle sexually socially, I'd rather not date locally, I vibe better with the west coast, I'm not above reproach, since I tell it like it is, that is my business, and believe me it's work, I'd give my shirt, in the blink of an eye, without having to ask why, if I can I will help, had to learn how to ask and accept it myself, I am my mother's son, after all is said and done, for good and bad, avoiding resentment bitterness or getting mad, learning to give grace, letting go of jealousy grief and hate, moving on seems impossibly hard to rough, sick and tired of nothing but tough love, I could use a lil light peaceful and easy, taken seriously instead of y'all simply demeaningly appeasing me, I have more than proved I'm worthy, and will no longer allow anybody's lack of faith in my fate hurt me

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/29/23

Can't Control Growth

We are collectively distracted and misguided, why do the powerful act like they don't always try to hide shit, but the truth eventually comes out, some day way or how about now, cuz I'm exhausted and drained, too much overstimulation to our brains, I'm not yay or nay I simply remain open, just cuz I disagree doesn't mean anti is what's been chosen, it's ultimately my decision, to listen to criticism and dissenting opinion, rejection helps develop thick skin, everyone wants wish fulfillment, especially winning the lottery, but what really bothers me, is this rampant privilege mixed with entitlement, our education system doesn't teach us the ability to reach or achieve enlightenment, it's more repetitious memorization passing standardized tests, creating a generation of unempathetic robotic soldiers who slave away to pay debts, education like health care should be free or at least cheap, same as it is in other first world countries, capitalism is out of control, effecting the globe as a whole, there can't be endless exponential growth, what if money and religion are a hoax, UFOs are no joke, marijuana is way better than tobacco to toke/smoke, prove me wrong, if u don't like mine write and perform ur own damn poems and songs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/27/23

Warning What's Important

Am I important, why don't some people come with a warning, I'm so tired, of fakes and liars, the sheer amount of ignorance, does asexual mean impotence, maybe I'm lesser than, as an openly homosexual man, whether black or white, finding true love's a fight, can't stand digital, why's everybody hypocritical, super judgmental, the lack of empathy is rather incredible, we've lost our way, sold our souls to become numb and enslaved, it's all about capital, money's funny and quite unnatural, making earth uninhabitable, the truth is no longer factual/actual, seems to be nothing but illusion, theres mass confusion, boomers been just hustling and hoarding, while we keep round of applauding, substanceless celebrities without talent or skill, ur like Pink sings "a pill and instead of making me better ur making me ill", why can't y'all MAGA chill the fuck out, the left can't figure how to bout, what a stalemate of a conundrum pickle, sheeple are inherently evil and fickle, we're supposed to be in this together, but no amount of hope will magically make things get better, good must pesevere and win again, in order for this fascist regime's reign of divisive fear to finally end!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/24/23

Overwhelmed At The Helm

I am so overwhelmed, tho I'm at the helm, I'm not the pilot steering the ship, I come across as handling it, but it's alot, my mom's all I got, too much responsibility and pressure, I feel completely tethered, living her life, suffocating my own light, and I'm getting panicked, gimme a massage that's tantric, I need release, why can't I peep please me, give myself the help of grace, I miss the bliss of being awed and amazed, where did all the inspiration go, artists giving dissertations choke, what they say lacks substance, instead of average or median focus on a human's circumference, not just one moment, if u make a mistake own it, isn't there any accountability, u can slip in and inject wisdom into comedy being sarcastically witty, since truth is often said in jest, does mama or papa know best, I miss my big sis, and if I had one wish, it would be to trade places, I wasnt dealt pocket aces, so I can't make magic happen, while ur asking laughing, as I share my dreams, of selling out stadiums after winning Grammys, who defines what's possible vs probable, keep wondering if my destiny's unstoppable, can we change our fate, or is having free will fake?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/18/23

Why I Try To Still Spill

Making a mistake doesn't mean ur a bad person, just cuz u say sorry won't erase others hurting, actions have consequences still, internalized emotions eventually spill, relationships overextended, the weight on ur shoulders never intended, it's super strange, one day u look up already changed, seems fast but so slow, u can't possibly see or know, til it's hindsight, tough to find light, when we're lost in shadows, who knew existence was so shallow, all about money, too hard to discover some funny, instead of numbing or a distraction, imagine real life closed caption, like they do for theater, been both a ring and paul bearer, a true blue double Gemini, struggling interpreting four sides, none of which are successful, the music may be incredible, yet at the end of the day, nobody wants to lift up a gay, I'm not gonna lie, don't know why I even bother to try, but deep in my gut nothing shakes, my neverending story of glory due to unwavering hope and faith!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/17/23

Lightening's Sarcastically Striking

I love sarcasm and wit, is jealousy or shame harder to admit, sometimes I need a lil help, to figure out myself, that's one of the major reasons I write, it highlights the spite, buried deep within, what happens if no next of kin, where's the wealth go, I swear the government is nothing but a hoe, and they don't even have to put out, nor pay the price for the collective bout of gout, kings disease is running rampant, I just can't understand it, when did we become so numb dumb and spoiled, our brains aren't scrambled they're hard boiled, focused on all the wrong things, if we don't make drastic changes none of us wins, why haven't we gone green, fuck nature everybody's glued to some screen, seems now we're only living to work, failing flailing awaiting the end of this inflation spurt, life's gotten so expensive, I wanna scream at god every single expletive, how can he/she do this to us, to those who they supposedly love, enough with rough and tough, it's time my cup gets filled the fuck up, success is almost like a lightening strike, yet I've seen it happen even more than twice or thrice, it ain't right, but it's still quite the fight to be a serious rapper who's openly gay and white!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

7/13/23

Some Serious Lyrics

We all need a hydration break, somehow change our political fate, inflation sucks, financially we're just fucked, I mean there's no substance or value for ur dollar, most going broke as heavily indebted scholars, forever a slave, with an astronomical amount u can never repay, the capitalism system's simply broken, they've even bastardized being awoken, when I'm all about spreading consciousness, I can't stand this hypocritical ignorant obnoxiousness, almost too much to bare, I really wonder if love gets trumped by fear, the corrupt run amok, it feels like there's no light hope or luck, idolizing lying and cheating, demeaning my deep empathetic feeling as a gay weakling, when that's a presumptuous assumption, I got guts cohonez and gumption, my sexuality has no bearing, nor should what I'm wearing, pay attention to my lyrics, I take my poetry and hip hop very serious, it's my ultimate purpose passion/mission, dropping and spitting some truly transcendent knowledge and wisdom!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/12/23

Stranger Danger: A Justified Lie

Can a lie ever be justified, for years I tried to hide, my inner true nature, don't u too assume they're gonna hate ya, and u can't see the shame, love isn't some shady game, it's the point to life, I'm annoyed by the strife and plight, that comes with being openly gay, just cuz I ain't straight, doesn't mean I fit in, how do I trust when submitting, I'm not subservient to strangers, I've learned the dangers, but I'm still single, tired of the superficial digital mingle, it doesn't work, most boast gloat and flirt, or ignore u completely, so I linger alone and bored defeatedtly, without a gaggle, a humble chameleon as I travel, molding myself to blend, mind numbingly bent again, always in survival mode, warm arrivals turned cold, so I'm ostracized and neglected, once mom goes I won't feel protected, all my immediate family'll be gone, being an orphan's wrong, at any age, embittered with rage, when it's simply I'm hurt, guess now's the perfect time to put me first!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/9/23

Damn Man Can I Spit

All that scruff, got em jelly as fuck, I like a juicy butt, and don't mind a daddy gut, perfection is in the eye of the beholder, I'm like a fine wine that gets better as I grow older, won't hide the grays, I have both good and bad days, I share it all, the rises and falls, I may not be tall, but I def ain't small, a grower not a shower, in my wallet ull find a few 4 leaf clovers, I need all the luck I can get, is it gambling if I'm a sure bet, u can count on me thin or thick, may not be the best singer but damn man can I spit, I'm salty if u want a lick, my insecurities and shame are hard to admit, but I'm human too, I won't be a ruined fool, just cuz I have fetishes and kinks, having blemishes stinks, like my pits and feet, imagine if life had a button to delete, mistakes are crucial, and tho failure is brutal, it's also beautifully inspiring, do y'all think god and destiny are colluding and conspiring, to fuck us over, why do I always feel the need to look over my shoulder, since I'm consumed by distrust, y'all suck at love cuz it's only lust, another notch on ur belt, thought the distraction would help, yet it didn't, now that there's no mutual respect we are finished!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/9/23

I Always Side With Mariah

Yesterday I shaved, both my head and face, cuz I needed a change I could control, life lately has affected my soul, everywhere I go I feel heavy, I'm more than "a lil unsteady", but don't bet me I'll give up or fail, my plans may be derailed, yet I'm consistently persistent, extremely resilient, I don't know how, Joss says "the time is always now", the future blew my mind, it's hard to kiss the past goodbye, since it's not tangible, I know I often tangently ramble, artistic success isn't something I gamble it's a sure thing, can y'all even see the happiness that when I rap and sing brings, it's sheer pure joy, my vulnerability and empathy aren't a ploy, it's utterly genuine, I'm a brotherly gentleman, stoic and chivalrous, refuse to be consumed by jealousy or bitterness, cuz I'm simply grateful, I won't feed into being hateful, altho I believe nothing's just or fair, power isn't achieved thru fear, that's a fool's tool, when in doubt I always side with Mariah that "a hero lies in u"!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
7/6/23

My Bent 2 Cents

I'm not most people's choice, altho many have said they love my voice, that's when love just ain't enough, rejection sucks and it's tough, to get thru, it permeates u, bruises the ego's self esteem, I hate when y'all laugh at my dreams, of Grammys and selling out stadiums, maybe I sprained my brain or its cranium, bumped the noggin one too many times, I'm bad at seeing signs/reading between the lines, often oblivious and gullible, a whole lotta innocent fun trouble, like Cartman I do what I want, stay humble and don't flaunt, simply gimme weed music or movies, my fantasies don't include vajajas or boobies, so no negative Nancy Debbie downer chatty Cathys or Suzie 2 cents, to all the jealous haters out there who fear the queers trying to persevere...get bent, I'm a genuine gentlemanly good gay guys guy, if my sexuality matters so much ask urself why, I'm hurting absolutely no one, we should be more concerned with discrimination corruption and guns, distracted by the dumbest inane things, that in the end nobody wins, especially the real needy, yet we keep lining pockets of the extremely greedy, I bequeath voting is beneath me cuz the popular don't matter, existentially elevating the collective consciousness thru hip hop/R.A.P's what I'm actually after!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
625/23

Who Decides Spotlight's Shined Time

I really hope someday, I'll find my way, to love happy and peace, I'm sick of resilience to hurt pain and grief, I've reached my limits, I believe god is a gimmick, used to control the masses, I'm done with religious political hypocritical asses, where's the separation of church and state, capitalism perpetuates evil jealousy greed and hate, I've simply had enough, feeling pressured and pushed to give up, but I've got too much faith and light, a ton of passion guts and fight, I forget how far I've actually already gotten thru, still feel this deep seeded need to please validate and prove, tho I understand it's not my time, who decides when and where the spotlight's shined, cuz these celebrities nowadays with platforms suck, they lack any substance and are talentless as fuck!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/24/23

Epically Legandary Legacy

Who knows, with tragedy empathy grows, I didn't think I could hold on any longer, then I heard Kelly sing "what doesn't kill u makes u stronger", I can totally relate, death is our collective fate, with no exceptions, all politics includes deception, both sides, are wings making the bald eagle fly, or of the same coin, the level of divisiveness is annoying, democracy's better, when we're working together, but rationality's endangered if not extinct, digital is erasing human footprints, like waves zambonying the sand, common sense and accountability are in high demand, life feels like the twilight zone, text does not highlight tone, in fact it's often misunderstood, wish they'd stop feeding fear and bastardizing good, why's it so profitable and fun to be bad, the corrupt are having a power grab, but I'm thankful for my angels, anyone else strapped for cash financially strangled, inflation and profits are out of control, there's not enough money hunny to buy my soul tho, what's ur ultimate goal/legacy, fuck fortune and fame as long my music and poetry are epically legendary!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/23/23

Bitter Pill Of Ill Will

I can't take anymore of this, if I had just one wish, it would be, for my mom to find peace, then maybe I've got a shot, this hurts alot, worse than dying, I'd be lying, if I didn't say, it's way better off not to be gay, maybe I'd have someone to rely on, I can't give grace and let bygones, I'm wicked fucking angry, y'all must really hate me, cuz ur all talk and no follow thru, I'm becoming a numb hollow fool, I'm so disgusted, an inactive volcano that suddenly erupted, spewing venom instead of lava, I only exist cuz I gotta, living is sheer torture, I wanna roll up a quarter, smoke it to the face, hoping it'll somehow simply erase, this never ending aching pain, all this waiting's driving me insane, their worry like friction, can anxiety be addicting, swallowing that bitter pill losing my will, like Pink sings "instead of making me better ur making me ill"!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/21/23

Unapologetically Fallibly Flawed

Call me petty, consumed with jealousy, hypocritical too, a pot addicted fool, angry at the world, tired of gay equating girl, I wanna give up, on success and love, cuz I keep getting let down, perhaps I'm not fun to be around, maybe I'm ugly inside and out, my soul rotted from gout, u know kings disease, I don't wanna be resilient anymore or people please, isn't it time to move onto the next phase, finally find my happy place, this east coast vibe, won't allow me to thrive, I'm suffocating and drowning, y'all committed yet clowning, still looking for something better, get ur fucking shit together, miss me when I'm dead, not while I'm living and breathing instead, I'm sick of over procrastination, a lack of attention support applause or even a simple congratulations, keep being neglected dismissed and ignored, sorry not sorry I'm unapologetically fallibly flawed!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
6/20/23