Watch & Gawk As I Walk My Talk

I'll take ur sympathy, even ur pity, at this point I'm annoyed, no longer find joy, in being social, especially local, I've totally outgrown, this place I've known as home, and I'm reminded, why I ultimately decided, to move to the west coast, not to brag or boast, it's just better for me, I'm allowed to vibe freely, be low key and chill, instead of my mood killed, by constant judgement, it's hard not to become numb and begrudging, the reason for my anxiety, dimming my shine was my priority, now the beast is unleashed, I'm gonna speak up teach and preach to a beat, cuz I ain't no amateur, anymore, I'm living out loud and proud, done with shame guilt and my bout with doubt, I don't cockily shout clout, maybe I should be an agent or talent scout if I knew how, being an artist, these days is the hardest, u gotta do it all by urself, while others aren't very interested in lending help, since ur competition, nobody's really hearing or listening, so watch and gawk, as I walk my talk, alone solo, cuz u know yolo!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/22/23

Surrender & Bender

And just like that, my train went off track, life's like a rollercoaster ride, everyone's running on ego and pride, fuck empathy, living regrettably, nobody knows their purpose or passion, y'all lacking action, wondering why, the world seems to keep passing u by, safe in comfortable bubbles, afraid of self made trouble, but making mistakes is human, just when u feel destroyed and ruined, that's when a star is born, I don't think we've been properly warned, grief is crippling, opioids are extremely addicting, there won't be social security, do u think god judges us if we're worthy, who enters the pearly gates, is hell the automatic destination for gays, like Lil Nas X says, perhaps it really is all guess, and we must just surrender, have fun and rock it like everyday's ur last bender!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/19/23

Denied Trys To Protect Us From Our Own Guts

Parents be like do as I dictate not do, take me for an incompetent lazy fool, even tho I've got more degrees than u, y'all can't handle the truth, claiming I'm the problem or danger, took us from family to strangers, moving on out was the best thing I did, my elders perceive me to be a perpetual kid, just cuz I am younger than them, even tried to be friends, but that didn't work either, can a person be both a wallflower and a leader, don't we eventually evolve, never got into golf, except mini, god I used to be so skinny, til puberty thickened me broad, rebellious against the boomer white lies they taught, micromanaging our lives, take away our tries, to supposedly protect us, from developing and following our own guts, so as I get older, I'm less of a go with the flow-er, lacking self esteem and confidence, these days I'm amazed at the extraordinary level of incompetence, from pretty much everyone, all these peeps have become numb dumb scum, not even poking fun, but evil's won and I'm just done!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/18/23

How Now Loud & Proud

Forget regret, ur life is ur own to bet, fuck what they say, who cares if I'm gay, bi or not, do I have soul and heart, let me be and do me, breakdown stereotypes and boundaries, I am who I portray I am, just another average man, making myself proud, laughing out loud, livin in the now, leaving all y'all father fuckers asking how!

Peace and 1

Joe Conscious 

10/16/23

We All Have The Power

In letting go, I'm returning to Joe, who's compassionate and kind, but not pressing rewind, I'm moving forward with grace and love, relearning I'm tough enough, sometimes healing, isn't actually a feeling, it's a state of soul, my heart turned cold, mostly cuz of grief, yet somehow I kept my belief, that hope and faith, will guide my way, thru the dark times, to where the light shines, not that then itll be easy breezy, but at that point if anybody needs me, perhaps I'll be ready, a lil more steady, don't wanna get ahead of myself, the only way anyone can help, is if ur own cup's full, depicts whether ur stock is bear or bull, no matter if we rise or fall, the power to succeed is within us all!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/15/23

Still Surprised I Resiliently Rise

U can love but not like, even after a brutal fight, easily can grow to hate, before u realize the mistake, it's the circumstance not the person, anger indicates hurting, which is wicked confusing, disillusioning abusing, cuz shit didn't go how u envisioned, stop gossiping and judging the way I'm living, tell me the number of licenses certificates and degrees u have, plus 2 hip hop/rap albums and 800+ poems to add to that, I'll wait and laugh, so as a matter of fact, don't ever ever ever call me lazy, nor crazy, when I feel entitled to not have to work harder, sorry not sorry I'm simply smarter, and I no longer feel the need, to justify defensively, I'm proud of my damn self, cuz I did it all with minimal help, my own family, didn't understand me, still I marched onto the beat of an original drum, stepped up to be a phenomenal son, after my dad and big sis passed, without any inheritance or financial assistance when I asked, kicked out of my home on my ass fast, once again the problematic outcast, but watch me resiliently rise, my true friends won't be surprised, with nothing left to prove, no matter what happens next I can't lose! 

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/14/23

Society's Decisions Are Not From The Heart

Is this the world we created, cuz I absolutely hate it, upside down backwards land, and I'm so not a fan, they've bastardized truth and righteousness, how on earth do we fight this shit, it's fucking disgusting, while also disrupting, democracy as a whole, I guess the devil stole our soul, these boomer presidents need to retire, most of these sheep in Congress should be fired, don't even get me started, on the supreme court that's immoral and coldhearted, overturning Roe v Wade, I'm surprised they haven't made it illegal to be gay, we're in serious trouble, and all y'all are sitting safe in ur comfortable bubble, I get no satisfaction in I told u so, ur never to old to grow, but it seems ignorance persists, only an illusion of bliss, in reality it's not, society isn't business so decisions should come from the heart!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/13/23

A Reckoning's Beckoning

Risk taking is beckoning, since it's comfortable's reckoning, I did my best, and yet another test, is on the horizon, what I'm finally realizing, I was living wrong, wasn't working on any new songs, cuz i was burnt out, had to learn not to bout, surrender to my higher power, remember rainbows only come after the shower, stars are formed after a cloud collapsed, when ur feeling helplessly trapped, know that moments pass, nothing forever lasts, but what matters most, is holding onto hope, even if it is false, when loved ones die life halts, u become numb, u feel heavier than a ton, and u can bring down a whole room, best thing to do is shroom, it helps with PTSD and depression, the pain never goes away or lessens, we just exist around it, the grief is confounded, as the world keeps turning, while ur lost and hurting, waiting for that day, when u awake and simply know it'll all be ok!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/12/23

Not Not Negative Rhetoric

I refuse to lose to the fear of losing again, tho u can't choose ur family u do choose ur friends, don't be afraid to be brave, it's ok to make mistakes, that's what being human is all about, something isn't more important cuz u shout, in fact it's deafening, there's a huge difference between being and feeling threatened, I should know, do I need to speak if u read slow, I'm a grammar nazi, like where's Waldo can u spot me, in a sea of baldy beans, nothing is ever as it seems, book cover judging, by curmudgeons, it's automatic, like autocratic, aka Putin, teachers can be students, u can be both things simultaneously, I admire spontaneity, very vocabulary savvy, not just any guy can have me, who's got game, fools fuck lame, vanilla is boring, sorry for snoring, my worst trait, hate to bait, but love fishing, some sarcasm comes across bitching, I'm not not negative, just have naturally antagonistic rhetoric, afterall I'm a double Gemini, still in trouble for getting high, like it isn't legal medicine, bring back lethal injection, treat people like pets, give us the dignity of opting death, instead of having to suffer, like my poor sister and mother, creating survivor's guilt and trauma, when I do go tho I hope it's like my papa!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/9/23

Why I Rise & Shine Rhyming

Don't know why, I wasn't by ur side, couldn't watch u die, so I had to decide, to try and fly, cuz now's my time to rise and shine, no more crying, whining and dining, I'm worth finding and buying, hit the ground grinding, instead of shying from prying, the spotlight's blinding, eyes need drying, gotta stop hiding I'm priming, superstardom's aligning, signing wiling, vying for styling, y'all declining dividing while social climbing, lying spying and antagonizing my rhyming!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/9/23

Don't Escape Experience

Travelers experience life while tourists try to escape it, no matter how hard I want to I can't fake shit, caught up in living for tomorrow, cuz I simply don't wanna handle today's pain and sorrow, it's all just too much, I no longer give 2 fucks, I can only cross bridges when I get there, gotta stop being dictated by fear, it's stolen enough, keep ur tough love, the clock is ticking away now, I refuse to question why or how, that's wasting time, have faith it'll work out fine, lean in and take the leap, sowing oats so I can finally reap, making decisions for me, even if y'all can't see and believe, I can, and I'm my own man, comfortably single, open hearted and ready to mingle, letting go so it can be, explore more of the land they say is free!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

10/8/23

Conscious Not Cow Now

I'm feeling I'm being punished, not respecting my boundaries got me gutted, esp when it's my mom, she doesnt understand the psychological emotional and spiritual harm, on my confidence and self esteem, I thought we were a team, in the end I was a fool, got played like a useful tool, then left to fend for myself, with zero help, and so I'm done, life ain't fair or fun, it's designed slavery, y'all show me u hate me, by picking her side, enabling her ego and pride, I'll leave and u won't ever see me again, all I have are my friends, I'm an orphan now, my last name's Conscious no longer cow, I've got nothing but regret guilt and shame, and the harsh sad reality is I've only got my own choices to blame!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/2/23

Not Robots & Old Farts Sitting Pretty In Toxicity's Misery

Been staying more off line, reducing ur cough time, don't smoke those bowls, since everybody knows, at first smell, but oh well, it's an occupational hazard, I feel like Joss singing I'm torn and tattered, life's been brutal, haven't I proven myself responsibly frugal, yet still can't be trusted, who am I colonel mustard, what tool did I use, and in what room, guilty til proven innocent, there's no accountability for maga sheeple being ignorant, wanting to see democracy unglued, they won't obey or even listen to rules, the narcissistic exception, that can't understand my artistic expression, do I give y'all the impression, I think everyday is a blessing, cuz it definitely is not, all I hear about is robots and old farts, hoarding and ignoring their toxicity, boring sitting pretty in misery, abusing refusing to share their wealth, triggering rigging the hands they've dealt, shut and locked the doors once thru, most built drawbridged moats too, so much red tape, under their thumb seems impossible to overcome and escape, the next generation's screwed, only got to know hypocrisy's truth, made to believe in magic without proof, do as they say not as they do!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
10/1/23

Silly Willy Nilly Vs Chilly Nitty Gritty Hilly & Grizzly

Another hard chapter coming to a close, the harsh reality of aging blows, but like I've said before that's life, timing just never seems right, each minute of every day's a fight, can both past and future be bright, what about now, I have absolutely no clue how, I will survive, let alone thrive, continue to consistently strive, trying to keep the high five alive, celebrate small victories, taking on other peep's responsibilities willingly is silly, so many navigating willy nilly, while my roads are all chilly nitty gritty hilly and grizzly, my resilience gets persistently challenged, if love ain't enough then neither is talent, tho ur efforts may be valiant, and u could even be a father fucking stallion, there is no guarantee, why can't we live for free, perhaps it's a natural dichotomy that we'll never be equal, it's a neverending battle between men vs women and good vs evil!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/30/23

Stay Steady Between Heavy & Catchy

I'm always trying, to navigate that fine line, stay steady, between heavy and catchy, nobody likes preachy, nor cheesy, just be authentic and genuine, why can't I be rap's middle class college grad non effeminate gay gentleman, not that my sexuality matters, I'd rather get ahead of the gossiping assumption judgment and chatter, most don't expect it, plus I'm overly cautious and protective, like it's my dirty lil secret without the guilt and shame tho, love sex games but I ain't no fame ho, not a snake shark or crab, life's become numb overrun by a zombie vampire attack, perhaps I'm so magical, it's almost actual/palpable, but is it palatable, presenting ghetto gangster wouldn't be factual nor practical, cuz I suck at faking shit, make many mistakes a bit, guess I'm another stubborn italian, a fun loving talented stallion, who can rock the mic, bringing both naughty and nice!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/27/23

Almost 3 Years & Still Doesn't Feel Real

My sister would've been 45, if she were still alive, she was such a bright light, always on my side whatever I might fight, she was a huge influence and inspiration, can't seem to maneuver her losses integration, especially dealing with mom, who's tough love is actually toxic harm, I'd trade my life for hers, why is everybody so concerned Joe works, like 2 bachelors degrees a paralegal certificate and life insurance license isn't enough, writing poetry and music is extremely tough, I don't know anyone else with 2 albums released, why aren't people beloved until deceased, I feel forgotten and neglected, definitely not supported nor protected, if heaven even exists, how could they allow shit to unfold like this, it's ridiculous, almost insidious, and I'm the bad guy, cuz I get high, just trying to escape, all this grief pain and hate, apparently I'm to blame, discounted and shamed, since I'm 41 and refuse, to be mentally emotionally and spiritually used and abused, no one understands what I'm goin thru, would u persistently try knowing ull lose, cuz that's how I feel, it's been almost 3 years and Gia being gone still doesn't seem real!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/22/23

Gladly Sporadically Happy Badly In Cali

Never could trim the fat, had to have surgery to fix that, snowballing into severe gout, and then the hypocrisy spouts out, everytime u criticize my bad habits, I just have to walk away and laugh at it, but u ain't ever changing ur ways, like I can't stop being artistic nor gay, but yet I must always compromise, surrender my boundary lines, automatically, all nostalgically, the very definition of family, is straight insanity, pun intended, if I said it I meant it, won't sugarcoat shit, don't even gloat a lil bit, humble modest and honest to a fault, wish my need to people please would halt, put me first finally, cuz the worst rivalry, I have is with myself, took me forever learning how to ask for help, wealth has nothing to do with money, guess the best place to live if ur poor's where it's mostly sunny, like Biggie I'm goin back to Cali, since they'll gladly have me, even if it's only sporadically, I just wanna be happy badly!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/21/23

Don't Pass On That Ass & Grass

They say this too shall pass, but this shit's kicking my father fucking ass, gotta play the game, go my own way unashamed, no shade I hate fake, humans make mistakes and break, fallible by nature, be a frequent masturbator, release that sexual tension, everybody's desperately starving for attention, but not for the right things, when evil wins the battle begins, it's time that good stand up to fight, I demand y'all share more of ur love and light, stop being so shady and funny, with life advice and money, give without expectation or conditions, the level of selfishness hoarding and greed is sickening, we all need each other, since it's one overpopulated planet filled with dysfunctional fathers mothers sisters and brothers, and we just can't seem to get along, been preaching for years to all to take medicinal hits from blunts bowls and bongs, esp on a high ride with JC, yeah u know me, let's bring about world peace, maybe one day I'll blaze and have my name mentioned amongst hip hop/rap's unique elites!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/15/23 

There's Wisdom In Forgiving

I gotta stop romanticizing life, cuz it's just tragedy and strife, it shouldn't be this hard or sad, I'm so hurt I'm mad, the hypocrisy is real, nobody gives a fuck about how I feel, that's just Joe being dramatic really reaching, parenting isn't teaching, it's all about acceptance unconditional love and support, that means actually help not hoard, u may have the law on ur side, but what u did to me was immorally unethical and simply not right, like I said ull meet ur maker, who knew a mother would be a hater, threaten to disinherit her last remaining child's wild, afterall that has transpired, look what I lost and sacrificed, I have no more appetite, for materialism nor family, who never appreciated nor could understand/stand me, enabling irresponsibility, when it's rather silly, I'm quite intelligent frugal and savvy, if u need some financial planning assistance or guidance holla at me, I'm a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, constantly trying to stay humble kind non judgmental and forgiving, while still only human, pursuing ruining all that's been cocooning, and handicapping my true power's potential, watch how now I'll spitefully prove to y'all I'm incredibly indespendable on another whole level!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/11/23

My One Wish Is...

It is what it is, so go handle ur business, don't let them diminish or dismiss, what it took to get to this bliss, in a world that won't admit it, nor takes any responsibility for a lil bit, my one wish is people actually give a shit!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/8/23

Revolt Against Humanity's Insanity

It's not the love that's replaced by hate it's the like, jamming out to Tina sanging "I Don't Wanna Fight", realizing I wasn't mad at u it was the whole situation, I'm sorry for breaking and my angry venomous reaction's presentation, I had to self protect, at least match ur disrespect, we can't agree to disagree, so u do u and I'll do me, maybe with time and distanced space, we can heal enough the hurt's somehow magically erased, it's sad this feels like a finite goodbye, and I'm walking away wondering why, it didn't have to end like this, with our powers combined we could've lived in financial security's bliss, just like dad and G wanted for the both of us, unfortunately I'm being forced to only rely on a shit ton of hope and guts, like Trev and I discussed it's my time to lean in and leap, start sowing knowing my value is not defined by how much I inherited and/or vs reaped, but what toxic cycles did I not repeat, do u intend to thieve harm or cheat, the rest gotta give to God, which I am not, remember and accept my own humanity, and revolt against societal normality's insanity!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/7/23

No Hault Retract Or Take Backs

U spoiled then shamed shunned and punished me like a bastard child, the fact that u won't pay me for services rendered then threaten to disinherit me's wild, always told me ud help me while ur alive, forcibly pressured to struggle more to grow and survive but never thrive, cuz of ur tough toxic love I got destructively burnt out, do I truly even have privelage or clout, perhaps my gayness cancels out the whiteness, no money or children to the righteous, means I'm expendably disposable aka waste of life, I think y'all just want a taste of my bright light, and yet I feel guilty, my trauma neglect and pain built me, which means my foundation is resilient as fuck, if it wasn't bad I'd have no luck, I'm stuck in what seems to be an impossible situation, keep and heed ur own judgmental opinion advice and gossiping insinuation, I'm wiser than most, I just don't flaunt brag or boast, but when u burn my bridge, I'm not responsible for becoming crazily hatefully unhinged, I'm simply matching, ur disrespectful boundary line crossing actions, ur fault, once unleashed I can't hault, let alone retract, and absolutely no take backs!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/5/22

Reckless Abandon: Fallibly Flawed

A new chapter has already begun, it's called reckless abandon, like a Phoenix burning my path unapologetically, y'all can't keep up with me intellectually, nor emotionally, I'm the problem supposedly, focused on my reaction not the cause, bullying and gaslighting me without pause, enabling irresponsibility, this whole situation is absurdly silly, cyclical insanity, the abuse isn't my profanity, it's her lack of communication and understanding, her manipulation is dastardly conniving and underhanded, we are both victims here, accountability isn't being remotely closely shared, they're all too scared of confronting her, an intervention occurred, I became the danger, essentially told to leave and be a stranger, but only for a lil while and tell us ur plan now, I have no fucking clue how, yet I got this, I lit myself on fire to keep y'all in ur warm fuzzy ignorant bliss, asking me to forgettably let go of the past and trust they're gonna step up, call this just tough love, when the truth is people don't change, and a lifetime of experience remains, I was the only one there thru it all, I am no longer lucky or blessed to have any safety net when I fall, I'm done apologizing cuz of shame and guilt, enjoy drowning in the hollow empty king's diseasy existence u hoardishly built, surrounded by leeches and crabs, hope ur happy with all the stuff u have, goodbye forever, u are the reason we couldn't weather this together, u choose to procrastinate and ignore, unwilling to admit ur simply human/fallibly flawed, desperately in need of some serious help, just no longer from me since u refuse to urself!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
9/4/23

I Am Mary Jane Not A Gardner

I love u so much I hate u, like an addicted codependent soul mated fool, I'm ur choice u weren't mine, taking responsibility is fine, but with u it's all one way streets, major hypocrisy, selfishness and hoarding, nobody has been heeding my warning, no more ignoring and procrastinating, I'm done compromising and debating, the time is now, and I have the intelligence and know how, she's gotta give up control, let go especially of pride and ego, and have faith that I'm perfectly capable and able, to make sure we are both forever taken care of safe and stable, but in order for that to happen she must relinquish power, she's the gardner and I'm her last flower, what happens after retirement, we have to adapt to changing circumstances and a new environment, perhaps I grew thru the concrete, being part of a garden isn't guaranteed, I don't know why, only I persevered succeeded and thrived, but I'm done feeling guilty and ashamed, perhaps quite literally the personification of Mary Jane, we ain't the same, neither's about to change, guess pain just comes with gains, may translate into scars but eventually fades and wanes!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

9/1/23