The Talent Of Balance Challenge

Perhaps I can't see the light cuz I am it, can't understand shit, only human I guess, hide truth behind jest, life's a test, u don't have to be the best, just show up and live, be willing to give grace and forgive, both others and urself, we all need hugs kisses cuddles and help, why is that so hard for me, way too guarded maybe, I know I'm lusted and wanted, if u got it flaunt it, but I find I'm giving off the wrong idea, I'm really wicked lost in insecurity and fear, no one dates, or even tries to spit game, unless they're online, which is another very illusionary waste of time, much better to meet in person, I think I wind up hurting, cuz our culture's alcohol and quick sex, where I'd rather stay home smoke weed and veg, can't seem to strike balance, being socially openly sexual is quite the challenge and I lack that talent!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/22/25

Gay Growing Pain

I suck at being gay, almost 43 and still experiencing growing pain, need love but they only want sex, everybody's looking for what's next, unappreciative of the one they have already, this level of unhappiness and unfulfillment is making me unsteady, can't find my footing/grounding, my fantasies keep on hounding, so my attention is misfocused, wish there was real hocus pocus, cuz I don't wanna hurt, feel so God damn cursed, I'm tired of alone and lonely, my radiant smile is actually phony, masking my sadness, caught up in this world of madness, worried about tomorrow, seems like life's just nothing but sorrow, cold dark empty and hollow, with no more guiding light to follow!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/22/25

An Honest Artist

If I'm being honest, the hardest life is being an artist, impossible to keep up with, having talent is a perceived gift, it's the fame that's a curse, believing illusions hurts, get to know the real me, let's get intimate and kinky, felt nice to crush, not usually susceptible to lust, but he's the exception, I thought friendship was my intention, until jealousy crept in, and now I'm worried about deception, am I allowed to change my mind, can't press rewind, and undo what's already been done, perhaps it's too late and should settle for sexy besty platonic fun!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/21/25

Crappy & Unhappy

I just want him so bad, it's driving me mad, thought we could be friends, but after thinking it over again, I like him more, my problem is I'm not a whore, I have to get to know someone, before I have sexual fun, I need connection, and also protection, this world is a dangerous place, the most fucked up people are the gays, they're so damaged and broken, can only be around them drinking and smoking, I'm so unhappy, gotta get used to life being lonely and crappy!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/20/25

Dead Head

I was his friend he wasn't mine, wish I could press rewind, and let him pass me by, instead of saying hi, developed a major crush, but got flushed, cuz he couldn't show up, liars don't know love, trust is key, I no longer believe, gay romance doesn't exist, lost the will to live, now that my family's all dead, I'm fucked in the heart and head, probably be alone forever, nobody wants to spend sexual time together, and it's my fault, kept my kinks locked in a vault, now that my walls came tumbling down, I wanna be bound, and given pleasure, wish someone would see me like treasure!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/20/25

Solo With Fomo

He broke my heart, ripped my soul apart, I hate gay men, only get sex with payment, how fucking sad am I, that's why I stay high, it's how I get thru this shitty life, stabbed in the back with a knife, then he twisted, I swear I'm gifted, at being alone, many claim but have never shown, perhaps I'm incapable of being loved, I'm just not good enough, I long for and ache, a partner or a mate, tired of solo, consumed by fomo, cuz all my friends are straight and married with kids, I'm lost more than ever and simply don't know how to live!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/20/25

Lonely For Homey

This one really hurt, can't say they're jerks, just let me down again, man I need reciprocal friends, perhaps it's not love that's the problem it's sex, gay men are always looking for better or next, but I'm used to roots, didn't have familial rejection or abuse, so I can't relate, I don't feel oppression or hate, but I'm wicked lonely, miss that feeling of homey, will I ever get that back, I guess I'm a bad fag, can't be promiscuous, everyone's anonymous/ambiguous, and I'm absolutely hating, only online dating, I'm giving up, don't think I'll ever have luck with love!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/20/25

Gotta Task To Ask

Moving downtown, is a change rather profound, a whole new chapter, bubbled from the rapture, engulfing humanity, the profanity of it all is insanity, please don't leave me, I guess when it comes to u I'm greedy, but not in a jealous way, for him I pray, he could see himself and the world thru my eyes, maybe he can't realize, how can anyone, when it's all said and done, we only know what we see and feel, what's rare is genuine authenticity and finding a guy who keeps shit real, I need a gay Christian Grey, unfortunately I'm afraid, that's an unrealistic ask, yet I remain hopefully open there's an alpha Dom daddy somewhere who's up for mastering that task!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/17/25

How To Get With This

Can't believe how much progress I've made, this next chapter of my life will be great, I just know it, tho I can't control shit, and there will be some bumps along the way, tomorrow is a brand new day, living downtown should be fun, once this move is done, I can begin again, thank God for extended family and friends, along with weed, music too and of course poetry, what would existence be without art, like trying to love but have no heart, even being single, I'm out and about ready to mingle, ull find me most likely at the eagle, definitely not dressed all regal, showing up as my authentic self, making these other Leatherman melt, radiating pure joy, but ain't no boy toy, I'm rather scruffy and built thick, u gotta be something special to get with this dick!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/14/25

Bubba/Boo Or A Few

Always dream big and lately they include u, but with each passing day I feel more like a fool, what must I do, to make u see me as cool, someone u could be attracted to, maybe even call me bubba/boo, cuz it takes 2 dude, it's so true, there's no one else who, is capable of a coup, please don't poo poo, or threaten to sue, even relationships have hue, if only he knew, my new home is equivalent to goo, perhaps we don't have 1 love but a few!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
2/5/25

No Close Hope

Can u see me, or am I ghostly, I'm hurting, why's he gotta be a cat person, this loneliness is deadly, thought we were bestys, but he's barely friendly, rejection is gonna be the end of me, out of sight and mind, I truly believe I'm a catch/find, but never the lover, I'm a big hugger, perhaps I'm too desperate, there's only been one Everett, no one else has come close, someone I'm interested in likes me back is the hope, keep dreaming I guess, fairytales are just jest, there's no gay prince charming, how we treat each other is alarming, taken so much for granted, I don't think I will ever understand it!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/5/25

Light Bright

Gonna start selling my art directly, to help protect me, from having too many hands in my pockets, looks like we can't stop it, ai nor exploitation, I swear y'all enjoy hating, especially on creatives, I'm sure ur elated, making something from nothing, all peaceful and loving, u wish u could shine bright, like my light, despite all the heartache and pain, I never became bitter or vain, my brilliance, is the consistency of my resilience, poetry and music are my heart and soul, but not being properly supported and valued is taking a serious toll, provide hope and faith, by sending some opportunity or fan mail my way!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/4/25

Can't Get Enough Of Love

Can u be too tired, to get inspired, just when I thought I was down and out, boy did I come back and bout, book of poetry and a new EP, this chapter is all about Joe Conscious/MCJC, 2 birds of a feather, like sides of a coin stuck together, can't have one without the other, so many angels including dad G and my mother, earth seems kinda lonely, I may be a sub but nobody will ever own me, I hope and pray to never give up on love, cuz in this materialistic world it's the only thing we can't get enough of!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

2/2/25

Lesson's I'm The Blessing

Felt I was due for a poem, altho I'm reminded alot I'm alone, I'm not lonely, nor am I phony, but I will say I want to be loved, losing my whole immediate family's been tough, like I've lost my super power, I wouldn't say I hide away or cower, but I don't put myself out there as much, I long for an affectionate touch and such, need more cuddles and snuggles, if I'm honest I'm rather befuddled, what's wrong with me, now that I'm finally free, why am I still here, does he return the level of care, or perhaps I'm minimal, maybe plain invisible, pretty toolish, feeling foolish, fated single forever, wishing we could be together, when the ultimate lesson, is self loving's my life long blessing!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/31/25

Bent Prophetic Transcendant Intelligent

I wanna be iconic, but isn't it ironic, the tonic called liquid luck doesn't exist, could any of us really resist if it did, misusing it of course, absolute rowdiness ensuing with mass discourse, only met with brute Marshall law force, while the virtuously riteous are supposed to be good subservient sports, bastardized like warts, I thought humans were fallen angels, the truth's moot/mangled, completely leveled disheveled, yet so many complicitly consistently insist to assist uncompelled this mentality just told to tell, ain't no don't ask in that equation, afterall aids in gays leaves an abrasion, welcome to the invasion of the complacent, or the adjacent frustration of illusionary imitation, lacking creativity with any substance, sick of interrupting instructions from a circumference of curmudgeon, no more drudging in the sludge and nudging for nothing, when they'll never wake up and pay attention, simply incapable of any form of resurrection insurrection or my brand of demanded transcendant ascension, mostly cuz my vocabulary is beyond their retention's comprehension, it's a blessing I only mention with intention when questioning if I'm bent or deeply prophetic intelligent!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/21/25

Rebegin & Win

Is art and creativity exhaustable, or simply transformable, takes on different shapes and contexts, it's pretty complex, definitely takes practice, ask me how long I've been at this, and I'll say what do u mean, writing performing hip hop or my poetry, I'm a madhatter/juggler, I'm not instinctually a battle rapper/attacking that jugular, a wordsmith and grammar nazi of some sorts, looking for those chosen one cohorts, who can sit with me and shoot the shit, have a conscious conversation with, mix information sarcasm and wit, listen to the messages when I speak or spit, cuz u never know what secrets lie within, perhaps certain versions of ourselves need to die for us to rebegin yet again but this time win!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/18/25

We're Tight...Aight

I'm a hairy fairy, used to be allergic to dairy, but now it's shellfish, but u can't tell bitch, that I'm gay, I guess I don't portray or act that way, except I love Mariah Carey, I don't think she could've had me, I guess I'm kinky, I'd just want her and Lauryn to make music with me, same with the fellas that are straight, besides my guy won't be afraid to ask me out on a date, fight for prince charming and who's king, I don't care about the size of ur thing, never assume, I'm bride he groom, tho won't be in a dress, y'all know u wanna be a guest, any partner of mine will be blessed too, life will test us dude, hold my hand tight, u no longer have to fright or fight flight cuz it'll all be alright...aight!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious

1/16/25

Taste The Fate

Wanna be an inspirer, instead of a crier be a trier, stay motivated, those who chose hatred, over empathy and compassion, will see their lasting actions, as climate change hastens, being a disrupter is blatant, is there any purpose tho, he may be a worthless ho, capitalistic by nature, hyprocrit/danger, how aren't we afraid, if the US received a grade, I'd say D+, cuz we've traded our soul and guts, for inflation and greed, fuck hope and faith they don't even believe, humanity's insanity, intangibly profanity, seems absurd but preferred, over the concurred, despite it's for the democratic better, who's to blame for the dramatic weather, like it's man made, damned if they cave, bite noses off to spite their face, such a disgrace with haste, leaving not only a bad taste, but almost passed the point of too late it's fate!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/16/25

Gemini Mindfulness

Pardon my Gemini mindfulness, in other words I'm like a bridge, between extremes, we see both sides it seems, I bet we'd make the best judges, many begrudge us, perhaps cuz we could go either way, artistically revolutionary or notoriously serial killery craycray, I'm the former, I'll always be a force for good in ur corner, as long as u shine ur love and light, stand up and fight for what's right, not to be teaching hatefully preaching, perhaps a lil overzealous motivationally speaking, helping sheeple to awaken again becoming conscious, eradicate and vanquish evil cuz it's reign's been frustratingly obnoxious, they say it's darkest and hardest before the dawn, it's a brand new year that I hope we hear fear has finally finished and gone cuz it's timely morn!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
1/13/25

Nothing But Intuition Grit & Gut

I'm hungry to hustle, ready to flex my chops/muscle, splurge on this growth spirt, I can forgive and still be hurt, a likeable jerk, who loves to work, just in another way, wish there was a gay spray, I need a masculine acting homo bro like no joke, I'm not trying to hate discriminate or poke, but I'm constantly having that coming out bout, not trying to be loud about or shout, never intend it to be my identity, guess I hide behind sarcasm and jest intentionally, blend in, befriending, people pleasing, agreeing and fleeing, before get too deep in, yet craving substance, like size over circumference, they don't know the difference, my life changed in an instant, now what, nothing but intuition grit and gut!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/10/25

Experience Life's Interference

I'm making him my new year's resolution, he's just something so simply special of a human, totally orgasmic/outergalactic, fuck pragmatic, I wanna attack that bad ass bastard, not gonna even bother to ask her, I'm a father fucker, kinda undercover, homobro Joe 420, ain't that a shame/funny hunny, like Pink sings "keep ur drinks just give me the money", quickest way to my heart's thru my tummy, best side kick ever, y'all don't wanna compete with Trevor. I'm lucky af, miss both Adam & Jeff, those good Ole dayz in the cul-de-sac, our childhoods were ultra rad in fact I'm mad that, every single person can't share my experience, life's interference, strife and plight right, go fly a trite kite at midnight, who cares what u like tyke, still at 42 dude take a contrite fight hike to gain some better perspective and insight aight?!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/10/25

Legendary/Iconic Like Vodka & Tonic

How do I rise above, needing affection and love, sometimes the best medicine is a hug, if it weren't for bad I'd have no luck, my timing is horrendous, the level of resilience is tremendous, but I'm tired of being strong, why can't y'all accept accountability for being wrong, even if u think ur right, maybe u try not starting the fight, perhaps u disengage, especially when ur enraged, u know what would make a better me, if my family had to undergo therapy, I'm the sucker, waiting for my guy to pucker, awaken me from this magicless nightmare, with no happily ever after nor care bear stare, successful alone, about to sell my childhood home, never again looking back, whoever says hookering's whack, is probably ugly, wish I could be recognized publically, while y'all sip whatever vodka with tonic, I'll be busy winning Grammys and becoming legendary/iconic!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

1/9/25

Great Grief

I wrote "Great Grief", dedicated to my family, which I lost completely in 6 short years, so many manifested fears and tears, shed in and out of bed, wishing I was the one dead, on some real shit, can y'all even feel this, maybe on some distant level, u can empathize with disheveled, still I must persist and push thru, occasionally abrasively need a lil kick in the tush too boo, say I love u esp man to man, remember altho no one could truly understand, they want to, it's honestly true, let authenticity rule finally shining bright, spread more truth consciousness love & light, cuz like Grandpa Meth would say "keep it tight...aight", battle rapping ain't actually a fight, this definitely isn't goodnight or goodbye, let's all just shut the fuck up and get good hood high, feel free to listen or read along, wait and see til they maybe transform into song, hopefully use the arts, as a muse to help heal my own soul and broken heart!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
1/5/25

Club Med

Y'all must've thought I was dead

When in reality I was at Club Med

Having a spiritual breakthrough 

Realizing it's both what u say and do

Ain't no hotel/motel

Like my sexuality don't ask won't tell

None of ur business 

Can I get a witness

Feeling so much better

Whether whatever weather

Comes our way

Seems to me it's another beautiful day

This present moment's a gift

We should all try to smile and uplift

Cuz why not give it what we got

Nobody's perfect but everyone's worth it

Say hi and introduce urself

Never be ashamed asking for or receiving help

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

12/27/24