Hurdled My World

It can be rather profound, when somebody u wanna love let's u down, again and again and again and again, I'm such an unconditional friend, but is that healthy, there's a difference between rich bitch and generationally wealthy, some would say I've had tough luck, fucked and it sucks, but I did have it great for a while, giving up isn't really the Vacca style, resilient af, politically left, they'd be sad at the state of the world, proud of what I've overcome and hurdled, I am rather triumphant/inspiring, when it's authentically genuine tho there ain't no conspiring nor trying!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/31/25

The New Norm Storm

I love myself more, make a terrible whore, cuz I'm picky, pretty thiccy, like sticky icky, both whitty and spitty, it's art, all heart, mixed with soul personified, refuse to compromise, esp my humanity, can't stand nor understand this insanity, good just gave up, y'all are so fucked when it comes to knowing unconditional love, I guess I'm blessed, but this country is a hot mess, gone straight cray cray, I pray day to day, that life gets better, cuz I can't even imagine success unless it's all of us uniting together, to weather this storm, since we shouldn't allow this shit to be the new norm!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/31/25

Did Grief Drama Queen Me

All this grief, is bringing out the drama queen in me, perhaps it was there all along, just suppressed it with bowls blunts and bongs, like Whitney I get so emotional, sorry and atonable, take accountability for my mistakes, try never to let love turn to hate, should stop taking shit personal, maybe even keep more thoughts internal, I do have a tendency to overshare/care, prefer truth instead of dare, unless it's to kiss this one special dude, it would be rude not to admit I want u, just while I'm awake, since he brightens and enlightens my day, and also smoke too much pot to dream, believe me my life isn't as great as my smile makes it seem!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/28/25

Not Enough Love

I need the gym and therapy, to become a better me, jealousy has taken over, u can see it in my shoulders, u know the weight of the world, I never bench pressed or curled, instead I focused on cardio, I ain't no hotty tho, I'm just kind, with an overactive mind, so I'm alot, too smart, yet oblivious, to recognizing hideousness, cuz I don't see sex, just the best, in everyone I meet, resilient after defeat, except when it comes to love, why isn't having good friends enough?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/28/25

Healing This Grieving Feeling

Very much healing, from this overwhelming grieving feeling, everyday is a challenge, leaning into my artistic talents, but I do still spill my shit onto others, no need to get under the covers, cuddle up with me, snuggle lovingly, I'll keep u warm, won't swoon or fawn, cuz it's not lust, or just another crush, this is what true connection is, I should become a protection wiz, absorbing it all without pause, chaotically intertwines what's mine vs urs, so we are both hot messes, trauma bonding actually tethers, but imagine we both are healthy, having those types of real relationships make us truly rich/wealthy!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/27/25

Fight Light

My mind's been kicking my ass, getting up every day is the hardest task, I'm simply tired, not robotically wired, can't fake shit, til I make it, I'm just truth, don't need a booth, I live music, take what I get and use this gift, to spread love and consciousness, fuck toxic bliss, I want art to heal the world again, the globe keeps turning friend, ride the waves, til ur cremated or graved, enjoy the roller coastering, why is evil so engrossing, too much light, might mean be prepared to fight, the time is always now, we gotta find our strength somehow!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/27/25

Casualty To Homosexuality

Trump is a chump, changing America's legacy to dump, history will spit this, cuz a country is not a business, tyranny and ownership aren't love, perhaps government doesn't reciprocate enough, they're so consumed with hoarding, many lives are just uninteresting and boring, and that's ok, not being gay, we're simply less than, I guess man, casually a casualty, did the devil create homosexuality, perhaps we were born wrong, scorned so long, that I'm thinking existence is hell on earth, and ultimately I have 0 value or worth!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/27/25

Divine/Sublime Time

I understand now, both the why and how, it's only a matter of time, when life becomes rather divine/sublime, I've reached a pinnacle, living pretty minimal, focused on bettering myself daily, my friends and chosen family have been super clutch with help lately, I'm extremely grateful, my appetite for adventure and connection is insatiable, I just love traveling and meeting new people, spreading conscious kindness eradicating hating discrimination and other forces of evil!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/24/25

Let Live & Give

Never wanna linger too long, hold on to the blunt or bong, there's so much fear here, surrounded by people getting the wrong idea, we are just bestys, he gets me, inspires a higher being, he's comfortable safe and gives a freeing feeling, no I haven't slept with him, perhaps ur inept from the beginning, to understand there's levels, y'all get ur panties in a bunch all disheveled, cuz u have a low emotional intelligence boo, u do u, please don't yuck my yum, simply move along son, ain't no time love or energy to give, but let's remember the golden lgbtq rule...live and let live!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/24/25

Rhyme Time

The more space he gave, my feelings faded away, thought absence made the heart grow fonder, instead I'm left to ponder, if he even likes me, I don't take friendship or love lightly, but he is kinda toxic, and when drunk rather obnoxious, yet I find it funny, helping him with a lil money, didn't buy any time, he's been the topic of many a rhyme, don't know tho if he reads it, can't stomach meek or weak shit, tell me what u really want, cuz life is way too short and regrets haunt!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/23/25

A Kind Mind

So traumatized by grief, I have this irrational belief, that this may be the day, he decides to go away, I'm sorry I'm needy, much too overthinky/feely, just alot, with the biggest heart, I can love the whole world, look at all the obstacles hurdled, yet still somehow insecure, my intentions are always pure, tho I'm single childless and alone, my warm glow illuminates home, my soul is love, high five myself every morning cuz I'm enough, trying to reprogram my mind, living proof it pays to be authentically kind, hold on stay strong, write a poem or song, finally surrender to what will be, let go of control and simply live out my destiny!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/21/25

Lead With Love & Authenticity

Gotta get on top of shit, focus more on the positive, just live and enjoy, fuck being employed, be an entrepreneur/artist, keep working the hardest, always give ur best and all, resiliently rise after every fall, heed ur calling, stop procrastinating and stalling, we don't get endless chances, take the risk when given second glances, seize that opportunity, show up for the lgbtq community, better yet take the lead, help peeps remember to believe in the power of love and authenticity!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/19/25

Fucked Up Love

I felt foolish and faggoty, but was glad he gave clarity, my heart and head, are a hot mess, but I hope and guess, he won't think me less, cuz I'm emotionally crazy, whoops a daisy, I almost blocked my blessing, it was never my intention, to manipulate my love, that was pretty fucked up, I don't know what to do with this, ignorance was such bliss, I just thought he was a crush, but it's turned to lust, and I know, cuz jealousy is a side of Joe, I'm not used to, a screws loose, so I got awkward and panicky, wondering if anyone can understandably stand by and will still Stan me?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/19/25

Time To Lime With Me

My story's called Sexy Gentleman, I'm masculine kind and intelligent, a gay prostitute of sorts, all above board, follow the law, always on tour, as a poet/musician, I follow my spiritual gut and intuition, baring my heart and soul, it takes a serious toll, when there's lil appreciation for art, consumers aren't smart, apparently talent doesn't matter, artists need to be like the mad hatter, able to juggle and muddle, huddled in the hustle, which is home base, gays inherently have great taste, this next phase I'll dominate in leather, wild crazy and kinky is way better, indulge in some me time, cuz I'm sure ull find my grind divine and'll wanna lime!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/18/25

Is Destiny Meant To Be

Is it all meant to be, do y'all actually believe in destiny, is he mine, I miss my parents reinforcing it will work out fine, just do ur best, never think urself less, cuz ur faith, guides this game, u can't lose, when u know ur truth, ur passion and purpose, even what hurts us, won't stop the ambitious drive, no longer ok with surviving it's my time to thrive, hoping he's by my side, but a word to the wise, if not, gotta still give it everything uve got!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/18/25

Goodbye...I Tried

U say one thing but do another, keep choosing the wrong lover, take what I give, helping him live, instead of showing up for me, people need acts of kindness esp during grief, not more pain, my heart isn't a game, and still u take me for granted, which is extremely underhanded, cuz it's simply ignorant, I was the innocent, who should've saved myself, for the sake of my own health, it's time for me to say goodbye, I already gave u too many tries!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/17/25

Begin With Him

I just wanna be loved, made to feel enough, wake up and go to bed, til one of us are dead, with u by my side, like Sam sings "take ur time", no one else can meet my mother, never had a brother, I do have some pretty great friends, who have been there again and again, I'm so lucky and blessed, yet it can seem impossibly hard to accept, but I still want him, will a life together ever even have a chance to begin, perhaps it isn’t in the cards, how do u heal a broken soul/heart?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/14/25

Liked But Might Bite

What I say in my art, may not be how I feel in my heart, many times it's my head venting, my rhymes can be mind bending, but I hope not hurtful or damaging, wish my pain from grief was vanishing, or at least waning, I don't find being a hot mess entertaining, I genuinely wanna help, but can't change the cards dealt, I need to retrain my focus, gotta give up my belief in fairytale love/hocus pocus, that's child's play, it sucks being gay, cuz it seems we are exempt, from being happy successful and content, which I know takes hard work, but getting nowhere convinces me I'm inherently cursed, all bark or might bite, it's unhealthy how much I need to be liked, can't buy love or luck, so I guess I'm probably just fucked and that sucks!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/13/25

Stomach Me Grumpy

Woke up grumpy, I can't even stomach me, I'm fed up, with a lack of love, the way I want it, I never try to flaunt shit, super blessed, yet can't be guessed, not really understood, being a force for good, when the government's gone evil, Americans are a bunch of sheeple, stepford zombies and robots, with no hearts or smarts, like a bunch of chickens with heads cut off, all they do is legit bitch and scoff, I forget y'all are perfect, I'm just not worth it, constantly left behind, told to give it time, when it's always the same, I simply suck at playing this life game!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/13/25

It's Me Or The Afterparty

Will he choose me, or the afterparty, I got my answer, escapism is a form of cancer, accountability is sobering, wish I was holding him, instead of crying alone, scared of dying at home, and nobody discovers my corpse, would anybody even feel remorse, prob busy with life or having fun, I realized the lust for my crush was done, no hard feelings, we are all just fallible human beings, who am I to judge, shouldn't hold a grudge, for my own irrational expectations when, he told and showed me who he was time and again, I fucked up and failed to set better boundary lines, ignored the warning signs, he's not the one hun, won't block him but it was a good run!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/12/25

People Aren't Evil

Giving endless chances to others is disrespecting myself, we all need help, struggling day to day, it sucks being straight or gay, life can just be hard no matter what it seems, I won't ever give up on me or my dreams, sometimes people just aren't capable, it took decades to get this stable, I don't know how I did it, cuz I suck at business, why do I keep pouring in and giving to those unreciprocative people, they're not necessarily inherently evil, they simply lack awareness emotional intelligence or intent, the universe's hurt works as if hell bent, on incessant cyclical suffering and pain, and the one thing that remains the same is that we can't control/change when it rains!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/11/25

Move On From Another Con

Wish u fucked me not my heart and head, cuz now love is dead, I want nothing to do with u, uve made me a fool, we can't be friends, any type of relationship has come to an end, and it's ur fault, I'm locked again in a vault, afraid of being hurt, I'm definitely cursed, my eyes deceive, ears don't believe, trust is earned, lust burns, what I've ultimately learned, it'll never be my turn, cuz I walk alone, already known home, and it's gone, there's no deadline how long to mourn, but it is simply time to move on, hopefully avoiding another con!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/11/25

Can't Help Myself

It hurts to have to say goodbye, especially if they didn't die, they just used and abused u, til all that I was able to do, was walk away, completely disengage, as if they didn't exist, live with it, my absence, and no matter what happens, I hold no regret or shame, my love isn't a game, I gave cuz that's who I am, never did I try to lie deceive or scam, I even felt bad, when I got mad, cuz u couldn't show up how I expected, perhaps I'm wicked overprotective, but my heart and soul, have already taken a beating/toll, plus I've spent so much time, trying to heal what's mine, establishing new boundary lines, red flags are warning signs, blaming a crush or lust made me blind, to the fact I'm too bloody gullibly trusting forgiving and kind, yet not to myself, and in the end tho no one else can help!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/11/25

Fired The Liar

My new gay besty is no more, the consecutive weeks I was ghosted on days off was 4, u can't be in my life, how u treated me wasn't right, still wish u well, but u can go to hell, I deserved better, we could've been together forever, now u can ride solo, u should have fomo, cuz I'm an adventure and a half, all I wanted was to see u smile and laugh, and u just took me for granted, I'll never understand it, I'm so deeply hurt, but what's worse, is I don't think u ever even cared, wish my heart was spared, didn't believe u were really a liar, I told u ud get burned playing with my fire, and I'm an air sign, in the end this double Gemini Sag will be just fine, especially without u fool, cuz uve lost a great ride or die soulmate dude we're thru!

Peace and 1,
Joe Conscious 
3/11/25

Got Guts Enough

I try to seem coy about being annoyed, at the fact I feel my poetry gets lost in the noise/void, is the internet a giant abyss, I suck at turning my art into a business, barely anyone comments or shares, are my fans consumed by their fears, thought I'm super open and approachable, wish when it came to finding real love I was coachable, why am I never chosen, perhaps in the hip hop world I'm the token, so outspoken I'm tmi, can't be taken seriously always high, like that diminishes my talent, people want the bad boy thug not a gentleman who's clean-cut and valiant, while I'm begging for y'all to see and feel me, continuously overlooked cuz I'm not cocky or greedy, but believe me I'm deeply hurting, at the end of the day it appears I'm simply another boring "normal" person, not that special enough, but brilliantly resiliently tough with just passionately driven balls and guts!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/10/25

Grown Old Soul

U can't love me like I do u, that expectation makes me a fool, what a fucking burden, what about when I'm hurting, I'm so sick and tired, people living zombified wired, just empty and hollow, evil winning and thriving is hard to swallow, I may be light but I'm no longer a son, wait til it happens to u hun, cuz usually the baby's the last one left standing, perhaps I am too intense and demanding, but no longer will I dim, go way deeper than skin, reach to meet me in the depths of my soul, and remember how much of a privilege it is to grow old!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/7/25

Ordained With The Reigns

Art feeds life and vice versa, wish my double Gemini sides would have a merger, it's like 6 different people, causing a tremendous amount of upheaval, all in one body, I need to smoke a goddy, to help get my adhd under control, being dominated is cool but no one will own my soul, I'm wicked independent riding solo, slowly but surely letting go of fomo, cuz there's not much happening, nobody's laughing, everyone's stressed and burnt the fuck out, showing divisive hatred loud and proud, we're just tired, of nothing but clowns and liars, taking the reigns, like they're not elected but ordained, forgetting we have the power, better fight back before the final hour!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/5/25

My Care Bear Stare

Ok now it's my time, to flourish and shine, if u can't respect my boundaries, ur no longer allowed around me, nor in my orbit, ur attempts will be ghosted or thwarted, I won't even engage, I'm trying to get past my growing pain phase, embracing being healed, while hurt people are for real, toxic like rot/fungus, in humongous abundance among us, spreading like yet another wild fire, does anybody make art to inspire, I'll always fight for truth love and consciousness, help eradicate exploitive greedy obnoxiousness, good needs to revolt back, instead of being passive attack, stand up for what's right, and vanquish this evil darkness with my care bear stare of bright white light!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/4/25

Positive's What The Problem Is

I write to express the negativity in my head, holding onto stress is the quickest way to get dead, trying to keep thoughts positive, the problem is, I'm a double Gemini, and my spirits shift from low to high, pretty quickly triggered, of course it figures, I care way too much, while everybody else gives 0 fucks, why can't I be more like that, easily just turn my back, ghost others the way they do me, cuz I'm over life truly, what's even the point, I'm wicked annoyed, all tribulations and trials, capitalism's made humanity vile, consumed by greed, love kindness and vulnerability make me weak, will I be mourned when I'm gone, afterall doesn't impossible to forget mean a star was born?

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/3/25

No Hope When U Ghost To Cope

My heart's become numb and frozen, yet again I wasn't chosen, left alone inside my head, worried if u or him were dead, silence is the real killer, sad when drunkenness is the filler, they don't know how to just be, wish y'all could lime with me, I don't need much, some quality time and love, like sharing a meal, along with how we feel, u know a 2 way street, fuck online let's meet and greet, guess I'm not easy to handle, wish my absence leaves ur world dismantled, cuz I truly deserved, not to be neglectfully hurt, but then u came along, probably will be memorialized in a poem or song, since u destroyed all my hope, when it seems u only ghost to cope!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/3/25

How Wow

I say things all the time, try and make them rhyme, not cuz they're true, it's just how I feel in the moment dude, spit venom when I'm mad, but hurtful words when I'm sad, I wanna smash and cut hearts, when they bullseye mine with darts, and I'm a peaceful pacifist, don't forget I'm a powerful revolutionary activist, I fight for and with love, even tho I may say I give up, I don't even know how, my level of resilience and forgiveness is just wow, all ud have to do is apologize, then let's get back to quality fun and good times!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/3/25

And Another One Done

I'm not a good sport, at being ghosted/ignored, why can't u text or call me back, what's up with that, shitty friend, not giving in again, bye, u were a great moment in time, but miss me with ur bs, I no longer want u to be my guest, rot behind bars, fuck ur art, u broke my caring spirit, can no longer gracefully grin and bare it, u win, my patience is so thin, I'm actually strangely angry at u, feel like I got played for a fool, ur a hustler player and chameleon all rolled into one, we had some fun but the way u treated me and my boundaries we're done!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/3/25

Never Forget We Met

I'll always be grateful u helped reignite, my passion fire and light in life, when my mom was about to die, ud flash me a smile, and say cheer up, that was showing love, I needed that, and wish I could give it back, cuz ur struggling now, yet manage somehow, still ur on my mind, I just wanna take ur time, even tho we're simply bestys, without u my world is empty, I care so deeply for u, but there's nothing I can do, can't drag anyone into the sun, when it's all said and done, I'm glad we met, ur wicked beautiful talented and impossible to forget!

Peace and 1,

Joe Conscious 

3/2/25